65. Creating Your Best Life: Trusting the Journey and Your Values for Personal Growth with Hazel Atkinson-Brown

What if you could truly live your best life by simply aligning your actions with your core values and long-term aspirations? Join us on this eye-opening episode of the Human Experience Podcast, where we unpack the transformative power of understanding what matters most to you—whether it's family, creativity, compassion, courage, or authenticity. Through reflecting on moments of joy and frustration, we emphasize the importance of making decisions that resonate with your values and support your personal growth. This conversation guides you in trusting the timing of your life and positioning yourself strategically to achieve both personal and professional success without compromising your authenticity.

Struggling with decision paralysis or waiting for the perfect moment to take action? This episode sheds light on the liberating concept of embracing imperfection and the importance of taking bold steps toward your goals. Discover how to set clear objectives, practice self-promotion, and maintain visibility to align with your aspirations. We explore the impactful nature of sharing your story and the value of even small-scale influence. Gain insights on adjusting your expectations and recognizing the meaningful impact you can have, no matter the size of your audience. This conversation is a call to action—encouraging you to understand your values, stay true to yourself, and fearlessly pursue the life you deserve.

Chapters

• 0:00 Living Your Best Life
• 15:47 Embracing Imperfection and Taking Action

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to. It's the Human Experience Podcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a healthcare leader, wife, mom and career coach. If you're big on authenticity, personal development, perseverance and transparency, you're in the right place. Get ready to be uplifted, inspired and empowered as you become fearless in pursuit of the life you desire and deserve. Our goal is to help you level up by creating a safe space to learn and reflect, while listening to transparent stories from our host or successful professionals and business owners who've agreed to share the parts of success that typically gets X'd out on social media, because that's the part you need to see and hear the process. Go ahead and subscribe. You don't want to miss out on these transparent stories and discussions that reveal highs, lows, aha moments and nuggets that'll help you to grow and glow.

Speaker 2: 1:13

Hey, hey, hey. You are now tuned in to the it's the Human Experience podcast. I'm your host, hazel Brown. Today I am going to be talking to you guys about living your best life. We're not going back and forth with nobody, right? I wanted to talk about that because I feel, like so many times, there's a science, there's an art, there is a strategic way of aligning things, trusting the timing of things and positioning yourself to level up and live your best life, personally, professionally and all the things. If you're new here, welcome to the podcast. If you're a return listener, hey, hey. Thanks for tuning into the podcast.

Speaker 2: 2:01

Regardless of which, I want you to scroll up to the top and make sure you're following the podcast. Regardless of which, I want you to scroll up to the top and make sure you're following the podcast so that you don't miss out on all these amazing episodes. It's really trying to pour into you add value so that we can grow together. If you haven't yet rated the podcast, go ahead and scroll to the bottom of the list of episodes. If you're listening from Apple and go ahead and rate us five stars. Leave a comment so I can know your greatest takeaway, what episodes really fill your cup and has helped you grow into your highest self. I want to hear about it. That way I can know what episodes I need to bring you, what I need to talk more about. Let me know what you want us to talk about. Right Us as though it's more than one of me. But I like to make talk about right Us as though it's more than one of me, but I like to make sure that I bring on guests as well. That's going to pour some gems, drink the tea, spill the tea if you will, and all the things. But I want to go ahead and jump straight into the episode.

Speaker 2: 2:58

When I think about living my best life as you think about living your best life, I want us to together think about things that we need to do, and when I really was trying to just think back and reflect about some of the most important things, that helps us get to the next level so that we can live our best life is and I did air quotes is understanding the importance of aligning ourselves, positioning ourselves and trusting the timing of our lives. For me to go into the thick of things, I wanna define things. Y'all know I like defining things, so alignment means ensuring that your actions are consistent with your values and your long-term goals. Things Y'all know I like defining things. So alignment means ensuring that your actions are consistent with your values and your long-term goals, and, typically, with your values, your long-term goals. Like you want to make sure that you know what your values are. You want to know, because that's what's going to help you to know what action to take right, and you got to gain that clarity so that you can work towards your long-term goals. When we think about values, we'll kind of speak to that as well, just to make sure we're all on the same page.

Speaker 2: 4:19

Potentially could have personally and it typically trickles over professionally as well are things like family, creativity, compassion, courage, courage is definitely a value system of mind. Freedom, balance, duality, respect duality and respect recipro reciprocity. All those things are values of minds, and so it's very important for you to know what those values are. Some other ones that come up for me are authenticity. It is just making sure that there's some freedom in me, being able to be independently me. I don't have to put on a facade, I don't have to put on a show. I don't have to put on a facade. I don't have to put on a show. I don't have to pretend to be someone that I'm not, and so that authenticity piece shines through. I also don't like rigid lines. I like to be creative and be myself. Self-expression is very important to me, and so I share that.

Speaker 2: 5:20

To say that these values some align for me, some may not. There might be others that I have not shared because there are so many more right when those values don't show up whether you're seeking a job, whether you're creating a business, when you're meeting different people in terms of partnerships and friendships, no matter what those situations and experiences are the value system comes into play. Because when someone disrespects you, no matter what scene and area you're in, you're going to be triggered. You're going to realize that this does not align to my value system. You're triggered because you've had past situations before that you didn't feel so good. When these things happen and I really want to make sure we dive into that a little bit, because that's what's going to help you determine your value system, right? You're like hey, so how do I know what my values are?

Speaker 2: 6:14

You really have to dig deep and think about times that made you smile from ear to ear, times that someone really teed you off and, as a result, you were just so furious, whether they lied on you, whether you gave it everything you had and they gave you nothing, whether it's. You had all of these high expectations, but you didn't lay down the groundwork in terms of foundation expectations of what you wanted to happen, and so things did not align well for you, and you were the one that poured but did not receive, and so that really lends to reciprocity. But there are so many other things that may have happened throughout your life that you know you were triggered by and really didn't feel so good about the experience or other times in your life where you felt like, yes, this person showed up for me and this is the kind of friendships I want to have. This person listened to me, this person didn't judge me, this person showed respect to me, this person believed in me, this person saw things in me that I didn't see in myself, and they were willing to share it. They didn't gatekeep, they had resources for things and easily gave it to me, and those are things that are important for you to understand when you're trying to make decisions about your values. I'm going to share something a little bit personal that I really didn't even expect to share.

Speaker 2: 7:48

Sometimes I have concerns with how I approach friendship, because for me, reciprocity is key. Someone being genuine and having an open heart is key and I feel like sometimes, when I go into situations, especially with me doing events, doing the podcast, doing career coaching, having a nine to five running this business and, you know, dealing with different interactions, just being a mom, a wife and all the things going to networking events I meet a lot of people. So, meeting a lot of people, for me it's always interesting. When I meet certain people and they are just willing to pour, it's like a light up. It's like, oh my God, they are not gatekeeping. They're like, hey, have you thought about doing this? Like you should reach out to this person. Here's their information. Oh, have you thought about where so many people are trying to hold back information, hold things to themselves, when there's such an abundance of opportunity out here?

Speaker 2: 8:59

So when I come across people, they're like, hey, hazel, I told such and such about you. Or hey, hazel, I shared your podcast. Or hey, hazel, I told this person about your event. Or I referred this person, or whatever the case may be. It's always like, ooh, they're not a gatekeeper.

Speaker 2: 9:18

Because for me, when I meet people, whether they're in the same industry as me or they're not, whatever I can do to inspire them or into them, help them become a better person, I'm going to do. There are things that I'm just going to share with you and no expectation of anything in return, because I want to see you win and when I see people come across that way, it just lights me up and that's how I know my value system has reciprocacy in it. It's just so important for me to feel like the person on the other end is going to pour back into me. And you can see that and feel that when you meet someone, because they are just pouring without even realizing they're pouring because that's just what they do and it makes it easier for you to pour into them, for me, like my guard goes down and I could pour into them so freely because I realized that they are not gatekeeping and I feel like in life you have to get to a point.

Speaker 2: 10:23

My mom used to say, like it's cool to be nice, but I'm not a fool, and I've had to realize that within my adulthood. That is very important for me to be sensitive to the fact that sometimes we can be too nice, and so we have to really better understand what our values are for us to move forward in making decisions and how we move in our day-to-day life. Listen, I really went left field, but I think it was super important to kind of talk through that so you better understand it. But when we think about aligning timing and positioning, my favorite quote is it always seems impossible until it's done, and that's by Nelson Mandela. I might have mentioned it at some point in the podcast because I love that saying, but that really is key.

Speaker 2: 11:10

When you think about aligning timing and positioning and when you go deeper in terms of understanding timing, you want to make sure that you know when to act and when to wait, meaning some things require patience and recognition of opportunities, whether they're true opportunities or not. I know we talked about that about two episodes ago. We talked a little bit about the importance of recognizing that you don't always have to act on an opportunity, and that's really where the timing piece comes in. It's really assessing your environment, your readiness, trusting your instincts. I want to make sure that you take the time to really own those gut feelings and I know sometimes people talk about like gut feelings and you're like what gut feelings are these people talking about? Let's talk about them. Like, sometimes you're getting like headaches, like your stomach could feel like queasy and weird, not in a butterfly feeling kind of way, but in like a ooh.

Speaker 2: 12:11

Every time I'm around this person, every time I think about this situation, every time I try to make this decision, this shows up for me. I start to feel this way. I start to feel anxious. Maybe I start to break out with acne. Maybe I start to catch a hot flash Listen, I'm always catching a hot flash, so we're going to throw that out there. But that's menopause. That is not energy feelings, right, but I wanted to make sure that you take some time to truly understand and embrace those things, because that's really going to help you understand what directions you need to take or not take, based on a timing perspective. And then I also want you to understand why you're triggered by something that may have happened in your past. And the reason that comes up and I want to share transparently is for me. Recently I've been trying to sit through the thought process of making a change in my environment and I had to realize that sometimes my apprehensiveness around making this move or change is because I've experienced situations before where we've moved closer to family and this picture that I had in my mind and the way that family was going to be over like the television shows, if you will it didn't happen. Right, that togetherness that I expected and these great experiences were not what actually took place.

Speaker 2: 13:45

So you get older, you get wiser, you start to realize like your decisions cannot be based on the highest level of expectations and how you would like for things to look in your ideal world, because in your day to day life and in the world that you create for yourself, you have control over how you show up for your goals. You have control over how you show up for your immediate family and the way that your home operates, or how you show up for your immediate family and the way that your home operates, but you don't have control around how other people move and how they operate. You don't have control around the environment, specifically in terms of like neighbors and all the things around you, and the way that your coworkers are gonna act, the way that your business partner is gonna act or what they're gonna go through. And so that's why, like, your value system comes into play with, separate from your value system, is really analyzing, like what things are showing up for you. That's causing you to think in a way that you're thinking whether you're apprehensive, whether you're anxious, whether you're nervous, whether you're fearful, whatever the case may be separate from analyzing your thoughts, your goals, your gut feeling and intuition and, of course, bringing it to God. Right, we're going to have some faith. We're going to talk to God about it too. We're going to make sure we understand what feels right for us and what comes up. But I also would be remiss if I didn't talk about how important it is to make sure that you reflect on different things that have happened in your life, because life really happens in waves and trends and so often the experiences that you're experiencing is on maybe a 2.0, but it's probably happened to you at some point before. When you had to make these decisions, you felt this kind of way. What came up from that experience? Why are you reacting the way you're acting now to the new decision? Is this from something else in your past, or do you truly have valid concerns? Whatever that looks like, I want you to make sure you're looking into that and thinking through that.

Speaker 2: 15:47

Overcoming decision paralysis, right, because when you think about time, you're like well, is it the right time? Are we sure it's the right time? Should we wait a little bit? Should we have done this last year? Should we have done it last month, like. There are all these overthinking themes that come into play when we're trying to create a process around timing, and so I just want you to make sure, like you're setting clear goals for yourself, you embracing imperfection. We are not perfect. It is not the perfect time for the career, the business, the kids, the move, the nothing. It is never the perfect time. So if we are waiting for the perfect time, we're probably going to be waiting for a long time. I don't know about you, but time is the one thing that is super precious for me, and so we want to make sure we're not sitting around here procrastinating in decision paralysis so we're not making any decisions. I want us to keep going after our goals.

Speaker 2: 16:46

The last piece of all of this aligning and timing is clearly positioning. You want to make sure that you're present with yourself. You're creating that credibility for yourself, that relevance, and making strategic decisions in terms of like, how you move forward. The reason why like that came up for me and I wanted to make sure I share that with you is sometimes you're like you're not sure what you're even working towards, and if you're not sure what you're working towards, you're not going to be able to position yourself for that next thing that's going to help you live your best life. So I really want you to go and think about what your ideal life looks like. Where are you, what are you doing? And, in order for you to create that, what do you need to do to make it happen? That is where the visibility comes to play. You need to make sure that you're going to the right events, you're meeting the right people, you're creating the right kind of content. If you're into social media, you're making sure that you're sharing your story and owning your short story.

Speaker 2: 17:52

We live in a day to where you can't. You know. We think about sayings like closed mouths don't get fed. It doesn't. And something that I had to tell my daughter in the past and tell myself is you know how awesome you are, you know your greatness, you know your self-worth, but if closed mouths don't get fed and your mouth is always closed, I can't know how awesome you are because I don't get to hear it, I don't get to see it, I don't get to experience it. I think maybe the energy feels right, but I don't know anything about you. I don't know what you have to offer. So sometimes we have to get out of our way and make sure we're taking the actions and steps necessary so people could know how awesome we are.

Speaker 2: 18:36

And even if people don't recognize how awesome you are right away, keep going. Keep showing your greatness, because the right people will see it. Everyone is not here for you, but the people who are here for you will be happy that you have shown up and taken your position of owning your greatness. And I would not be right if I didn't share that piece too, because just because you're doing what feels right to you to live your best life, just because you're going after your goals, it doesn't mean a herd of cows, sheep, people, whoever is going to come running, knocking down at your door. It's just not going to happen that way. It is going to be a build up of times that you've put in the work, times that you've showed up, and you did not give up. You had that resilience and courage. Let's go back to courage. We had the courage to keep going and understanding that even if you only touch the life of one person, and if that person is you, that still counts, you're doing a great job.

Speaker 2: 19:41

We really have to shift our mindset in the way that we look at things. Like we live in a world of social media now where it feels like you need to have 100K followers to be making an impact. Like no, if you have one person that you're making a difference in their lives, you are making an impact. I personally have had to make that mindset shift, not from a social media perspective, but even from this podcast. My initial goal was that my podcast was going to get 10,000 downloads every episode, and when it didn't work out like that because it did not work out like that, my podcast does well, but it's not getting 10,000 downloads Listen, $10,000,. Let's go, give me $10,000 an episode, I'll take that too. But the point is is like that is not what was happening, and so my expectation was high in terms of 10,000 downloads per episode, but I did not get that. But I got a great return in terms of the number of downloads and also the feedback that I get from people sharing about the impact that the podcast is making on their lives, and that had to help me realize my sweetheart.

Speaker 2: 20:56

It is not about 10,000 downloads.

Speaker 2: 20:58

It is about the people and the lives that you're impacting.

Speaker 2: 21:01

That is what is important, and that is when you know you're living in.

Speaker 2: 21:05

Your purpose is that you're able to help other people become the version of themselves that they desperately want to be. That is what I'm here for, and I know you are filled with greatness and you have so much goodness in your heart that you wanna get out. I just want you to go ahead and get it out and understand that in order to figure out how to get out. I just want you to go ahead and get it out and understand that, in order to figure out how to get to the next level and align yourself with the timing and positioning that you need to make to get to the next level, you got to figure out what your values are. You got to make sure that you're being authentic to yourself. That way, you can show up for yourself and take the action that you need to be able to operationalize, materialize those goals so that you can grow into your best self, live your best life, because you are so deserving of it. Now go get it and make it happen for you.

Speaker 1: 22:00

We hope you caught all those gems. So here for all of it. Be sure to subscribe so that you don't miss a gem. Write a review so that we know to keep bringing you episodes like this. And check us out online at itsthehumanexperiencecom to keep up with us. Keep growing and glowing. Catch you on the next episode.