53. How to Go From Self Doubt to Cultivating Confidence with Community, Empowerment and Mindset Shifts

Have you ever felt like you're walking a tightrope between self-doubt and unshakeable confidence? Join me, Hazel Brown, as I share the raw and insightful lessons from my personal rollercoaster of emotional highs and lows. We'll navigate the murky waters of self-discovery, recognize the lies we tell ourselves, and celebrate the triumphs that propel us forward. This episode is a heartfelt conversation about the importance of acknowledging our fears, drawing from personal anecdotes to illustrate the deep-seated need for self-acceptance and the courage to confront our own negative self-talk. Let's learn to cherish our past victories and discern between being truly content and merely complacent, all while supporting each other on this shared human journey.

The heart of our discussion beats with the transformative potential of community; how cheering for one another can catalyze our personal growth. From my own stories of independence and overcoming relationship hurdles, I underline the significance of therapy, shedding old scars, and embracing an abundance mindset. We'll dissect the societal taboos surrounding therapy, discuss how to break free from past traumas, and understand why failures are simply stepping stones to our greater selves. With no special guests but our collective experiences, this episode is a treasure trove of empathy and empowerment. Subscribe to join a space where every win is celebrated, and together we'll continue to build a world rich in mutual support and encouragement.

Chapters

• 0:00 Embark on Self-Discovery Journey
• 9:48 Heal, Grow, and Celebrate Wins
• 18:47 Subscribe for Gems and Growth

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to. It's the Human Experience Podcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a healthcare leader, wife, mom and career coach. If you're big on authenticity, personal development, perseverance and transparency, you're in the right place. Get ready to be uplifted, inspired and empowered as you become fearless in pursuit of the life you desire and deserve. Our goal is to help you level up by creating a safe space to learn and reflect, while listening to transparent stories from our host or successful professionals and business owners who've agreed to share the parts of success that typically gets X'd out on social media, because that's the part you need to see and hear the process. Go ahead and subscribe. You don't want to miss out on these transparent stories and discussions that reveal highs, lows, aha moments and nuggets that'll help you to grow and glow.

Speaker 2: 1:13

Hey, hey, hey, you are now tuned in to the it's the Human Experience podcast. I'm your host, hazel Brown. If it's your first time tuning in, welcome welcome. If you're a return listener, welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back, listen.

Speaker 2: 1:31

I realize that I haven't sung to you guys in a long time. Actually, like I used to sing in a lot of my podcast episodes and here lately I have not been singing, so I had to share some of the vocals with you. In the previous episode, I talked about being in the moment, in the know of who you are, and then I realized that that self-reflection work is hard, and I wouldn't be doing my due diligence if we didn't dive into how important it is to navigate self-doubt, confidence, triggers and traumas in terms of the role that it plays as we're trying to grow into our highest self. Listen, today we're going to explore the depths of the human experience on the journey, the challenges, the wins, because it's time to claim your self-worth. It's time for you to make sure you elevate and ascend into your highest self, and in order to do that, we have to have some self-discovery, some self-acceptance. We have to know that we have to take the good with the bad in order to become our highest self. And I want to do it with you. I'm right there with you on this journey and I want you to understand that what you're going through, what you're navigating, is not an anomaly to you. You are not alone on this journey. We are going through the human experience and though when you're in the muck it feels like you're by yourself, I get it. I get it, but you're not. We are here collectively, as a human kind, human experience. We are here to make sure that we are pouring in and providing you real life situations so that you can better understand that you can do it, can better understand that you can do it. You have what it takes, you're capable. Your triumphs, your trials, your challenges, your good, bad and indifferent does not define you. It is all a learning experience and, through the ups and the downs, the ebbs and the flows, there are so many things to learn from, and I want you to tap into that grace.

Speaker 2: 3:50

I want you to tap into the mindfulness of being in the moment and trying to understand what it is you're supposed to learn from these situations, so that you can let go of that self-doubt right. I want you to acknowledge your feelings, know that it's natural, know that it's normal to feel like I can't do it, to feel like maybe this is out of my league. But it's important for you to understand whether or not you're leading from a place of fear or leading from a place of maybe I need help. Maybe I need support. Maybe this is too much too fast, meaning I need to get a coach. I need to make sure I tap into the larger goal and decide how to chop them up into smaller steps because it's more feasible, it's more manageable. It doesn't mean throw the whole goal away. It simply just means that it's too much too fast, and so I want you to be able to identify that for yourself.

Speaker 2: 4:58

I think something else is like super important when we think about self-doubt and we think about just making past experiences define us and hold us back from our highest self, from our next level, from the next chapter, from where we're destined to be is. Many times we're going through all of this self-talk, but it's negative self-talk. It is really noise that we need to learn how to drown out, right? Not noise, because you're picking up the phone talking to somebody else and it's easy to block them. It's easy to see the number and say, yeah, I'm not picking it up, yeah, I'm not texting it back, this is in your head.

Speaker 2: 5:46

So how do you take this self-talk out of your head? And how you do that is really trying to say like, is this real? Is this for real? I've gone through challenges before. I was able to overcome them before. Is this something that I really should be scared of? Is this really something I don't think that I can actually tackle? And if that is the case, then is it something that I need help with to be able to move forward?

Speaker 2: 6:14

Again, we're not throwing away the goal. We're not throwing away moving out of our comfort zone. We're simply identifying whether or not we need support to move forward, whether or not we need to take some time to reflect before I move forward, whether or not I need to take some time to decide if this is actually something that serves me, if this is something that makes sense for my future, because a lot of times that self-doubt is coming into play. It's like, girl, do you even want this? Is this even for you? Is it even worth the squeeze?

Speaker 2: 6:52

And sometimes that self-talk is from a place of contentment right From a place of complacency. And the difference between the contentment and the complacency standpoint is, from a complacency standpoint, you're in your comfort zone and you don't want to do more. So it's like, girl, I don't think you could do this, I don't think this is for you. Oh, you should let that go, like, leave it to somebody else. You can't get this done.

Speaker 2: 7:19

Fear, complacency, staying in your comfort zone, keeping yourself at a distance from the things that are right in front of you that you're deserving of, versus contentment, where you're like child, we're good, like I've done everything it is I'm supposed to do. I'm happy here. I want to be mindful, I want to enjoy the life I've built. I don't necessarily want to move to the next level yet I'm enjoying this level not from a place of fear, not from a place of I can't do the next level, but from a place of this is what I've worked for. I want to bask in it a little bit before I move to the next level. So it's very important for you to recognize where you are in your negative self-talk. Is it truly negative self-talk or are you just in the know that, girl, you're doing too much? Calm down, sit down. As opposed to, you want more. You know you can do more. You know you're done with this level, but you keep talking yourself out of it. Stop doing that, if that's the case.

Speaker 2: 8:19

We talked about creating those smaller goals so that it's more manageable, and I think, also for me, I recently and I say recently, it's probably like six months ago Perry, who was on the podcast, she had a self-confidence program or course. That was like a challenge. It was actually a challenge. It was like a seven day challenge and I did it and something that I loved in her challenge that she talked about one time for Perry listen. If you listen to Mindset Bay podcast, definitely check her out.

Speaker 2: 8:51

Perry talked about just how important it is for you to say what you're a yes for. I am a yes for greatness. I'm a yes for making my goals happen. I'm a yes for abundance. I'm a yes for money right, mad money. I'm a yes for living my best life. I am a yes for anything of excellence. I am a yes for the things that I want in my future. I deserve it and I am a yes for it.

Speaker 2: 9:21

I feel like that framing is so helpful to remind yourself that you are a yes for these things Like why are you creating boundaries for your goals and saying what it is you cannot do. But if it was someone else, you'd be encouraging them, you'd be rooting for them, for them to go after their goals. I'm your rooter. I need you to go after your goals. I need you to make it happen. I need you to know that you can do it because you are a yes for it.

Speaker 2: 9:48

And I think, more importantly, it's so good to have supportive people around you who want to see you win, who are waiting for you to ask for help, who are there to genuinely support your endeavors. They're not blocking your lane. They're clearing it for you, announcing your name in rooms, because they admire you, they see that you're genuine, they see that you have what it takes and they're wanting to help you win. And I think, before I dive any further, I want to make sure you're at a place where you love seeing people win, where you love rooting for people, where you love clearing people's lane, because I think it's very important to make sure that I acknowledge that you attract who you are.

Speaker 2: 10:33

So, if you're the kind of person who doesn't root for others when you see other people win, person who doesn't root for others when you see other people win, you're like, oh my God, why is it not me? I'm never going to be this great thing. You're moving from a place of scarcity. Something in your mind is telling you that there's not enough for you, so you're not attracting it because you've already told yourself there's not enough for you. When you get to a place where you recognize that there's nothing someone else can do to stop the flow of your life, you are a yes for these things, and everything that you're entitled to you will get, but at the right time.

Speaker 2: 11:19

If you haven't done the work in your previous level and ironed out some of those kinks in terms of healing and making sure you're at a place to where you're ready for the next level, then you're not going to attract the things that you need to in the upcoming level, because you have not taken the tools from the lessons and challenges that you face and learn what it is you're supposed to take with you to the next level and the things you need to leave behind you. So that's why, for me, therapy is so important, because with therapy, you're able to recognize what toxic behavior you have going on, that you need to work through and who you are. And once you get to a place where you realize like, wow, like I can root for others and I can still win. I can put people on and I can still win. I can move with no ulterior motives because I don't want anything from you just so that I can get to the next level, work with you. I want to help you win, I want us to help each other win, but not from a place of what I can get from you, but from a place of how we can support each other.

Speaker 2: 12:24

I think that is instrumental and I think that I would be remiss if I did not express that, because sometimes that is what holds us back. It's our mindset. It's competing with other people who are not competing with you. And in those messages you realize like, wow, like, if I would just let go of that scarcity mindset and thinking that because someone else has it, I won't get it. Like that comes from trials, tribulations and triggers. Like I think for myself.

Speaker 2: 12:56

I grew up in poverty. I grew up having to share food. I hate sharing food. I probably talked about that on a podcast because, oh, I don't like sharing food, I will buy you your own, but I do not want to share it, honey, and if I share it with you, just being completely honest, that's scarcity mindset kicks in, it's because I don't really like it that much. That is so sad. But I'm being honest, right, I want you to understand that we all got work right. I am very much. I'm going to put people on. I am going to make sure I share your name in rooms. I'm going to get the right people in front of you to help you get to the next level. I'll buy you some food, but I'm not giving you my food, honey, you're not getting my food, but anyway, I digress.

Speaker 2: 13:42

I want to make sure that you understand that it's very important to know your triggers.

Speaker 2: 13:49

Yeah, I was just talking about sharing food. That was a trigger. Know your triggers so you could be able to move forward and make sure that nothing is holding you back. And sometimes we think that it's people holding us back, opportunities not being there for us, but it's us trying to move forward without healing and recognizing who we are through self-reflection, through making sure we learn from our failures and our mistakes, understanding our strengths.

Speaker 2: 14:17

I know for me, I always want to do everything on my own, like I am so independent to a fault, and I've had to make sure that I learned how to delegate, learned how to collaborate, learned how to work with other women who are rooters as well, because there's some trauma there. I've definitely had friendships in the past to where they were gatekeeping. They had a cap on where my glass ceiling is and I'm had to break it and break them off too, because that's just not how things work for me, and so within that space, you have to recognize what traumas and triggers exist and you have to heal from that and you have to also come out of that and understanding there are other people that are rooters, who are not going to gatekeep, and you don't have to be guarded because of past situations. You don't have to think that you're not deserving of greatness and good connections and experiences simply because of past things. So I wanted to share that transparently because, like I said, we all have work to do. We all have things to heal from, and I had to heal from that to get to a place where I'm building a community. What am I building? I'm building a community where I can be able to pour, but I had to heal from my trauma and feeling like I've showed up in friendships and relationships and situations where people didn't pour back into me, that reciprocity was not where it needed to be.

Speaker 2: 15:43

And so, being very clear with the kind of person I am messaging and just also making sure that I'm very transparent and I've healed, I'm able to attract the right kind of people, and I want that for you. I want you to be able to root for others, mean others well, so that you can attract the right kind of abundance that you deserve. All of the things that you are a yes for. I want you to be able to attract it. I want you to be able to live it. I want you to get to your next level. Know that there are going to be challenges there too. Listen, they're always there, but they are lessons to help you get to the level after that. They're lessons to help you become the person that you're destined to be. They're lessons to help you blow into your purpose with ease.

Speaker 2: 16:29

And I just feel like that supportive people piece is just so important that I had to sit in that and also express the traumas that you have to uncover and heal from, so that the place of supportiveness is actually real, genuine, solid and positive, because if I didn't share that, I would just be giving you fluff, and I want to make sure you understand how you got to heal from certain things so that the community and the richness that you're looking for you can experience it, you can live it and you could be the yes for it. And then the last thing I wanted to say is just how important it is to celebrate your wins. You've done so many great things in your life already. Look back at little you. Look back at teenage you. How many things have you done that you thought you couldn't do?

Speaker 2: 17:16

Cut that self-doubt out and know you're capable of greatness. You're capable of doing it, you're deserving of it, you are a yes for it. And you just have to get to a point where you realize that that self-doubt story is for the birds Like you deserve to live. Step out of your comfort zone and follow your inner self, follow your gut and your guide to help you live that positive life, to live the life to where you're growing and cultivating a world that feels like home to you. I want you to win.

Speaker 2: 17:52

I want you to understand that you already have everything you need to become the version of yourself that you are working towards becoming. Tap into your greatness, heal where you need to and tell self-doubt goodbye. Remind it of all the things you've already conquered, all the things you've already done, all the ways you've grown despite the adversity and know that you are going to be amazing, bloom where you are planted. I love to always remind myself I'm nowhere near where I'm destined to be, and that reminder gives you grace, it gives you a little bit more time and making you realize, like, take the pressure off, you got it, it's going to happen. Go get it. You're a yes for it. I'm rooting for you. Let's go, let's grow together.

Speaker 1: 18:47

We hope you caught all those gems. So here for all of it. Be sure to subscribe so that you don't miss a gem. Write a review so that we know to keep bringing you episodes like this. And check us out online at itsthehumanexperiencecom to keep up with us. Keep growing and glowing. Catch you on the next episode.