63. Understanding Projection and Seizing Opportunities for Personal Growth with Hazel Brown

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to project their doubts and fears onto you when you're simply trying to pursue your dreams? In this episode of "It's the Human Experience Podcast," I, Hazel Brown, unravel the mysteries behind projection as a defense mechanism. We'll dive into personal stories and everyday scenarios where friends and family unknowingly cloud your ambition with their insecurities. Learn how to tell the difference between unhelpful projections and genuine advice, and why surrounding yourself with a variety of thinkers is crucial for staying true to your vision.

Timing is everything, especially when aiming for success. We'll discuss how to recognize those pivotal moments when everything aligns perfectly, and the importance of seizing opportunities that feel spiritually and intuitively right. Reflection and stillness are not just buzzwords; they're essential tools for sifting through feedback to find what truly serves your growth. By honing your ability to make strategic decisions and understanding your inherent worth, you'll be better equipped to tackle life's challenges and unlock your highest potential. Tune in to empower yourself to chase your dreams with confidence and clarity!

Chapters

• 0:00 Understanding Projection and Perception
• 8:46 Navigating Personal Projection and Timing

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to. It's the Human Experience Podcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a healthcare leader, wife, mom and career coach. If you're big on authenticity, personal development, perseverance and transparency, you're in the right place. Get ready to be uplifted, inspired and empowered as you become fearless in pursuit of the life you desire and deserve. Our goal is to help you level up by creating a safe space to learn and reflect, while listening to transparent stories from our host or successful professionals and business owners who've agreed to share the parts of success that typically gets X'd out on social media, because that's the part you need to see and hear the process. Go ahead and subscribe. You don't want to miss out on these transparent stories and discussions that reveal highs, lows, aha moments and nuggets that'll help you to grow and glow.

Speaker 2: 1:13

Hey, hey, hey, you are now tuned in to the it's the Human Experience podcast. I'm your host, hazel Brown. Welcome. Welcome to the podcast If it's your first time tuning in. Hey, hey, hey, thanks for tuning into the podcast.

Speaker 2: 1:29

Listen, we talk about all the things on this podcast as it relates to personal development experiences. You may be going through things that I want to help you get through. We're going to talk transparently about the human experience. Today. I wanted to talk about projection.

Speaker 2: 1:49

Projection is a defense mechanism where you can unconsciously attribute your feelings, thoughts or behaviors onto another person or thing, and the reason I want to talk about this is because I feel like a lot of people do this unconsciously, not realizing that they're doing it. Now, some people do it and they know it's their own fears, they know it's their own struggles, while others may not even realize they're doing it. So, for that sake, I felt like, hey, let's get into it, let's talk about it, but before we do, if you're not following the podcast, scroll up to the top, hit that follow button, make sure that you are subscribed to the podcast so that, as we drop new episodes, you receive the alerts and you don't miss out on all this good, good information. So back to projection. Listen, when someone's unconsciously sharing or projecting or inflicting or attributing their thoughts and feelings to another person like it is really around, like their insecurities, typically from a psychological perspective Meaning.

Speaker 2: 3:08

I remember at different moments in my life when I wanted to move to another state, or I wanted to go to a different place because of schooling or whatever the case may be, and I would hear friends and family members say things like are you sure it's going to be safe there? Are you sure you should go there? Are you sure it's going to work out? And that became a theme when it came to going after goals, going after roles, doing different things that I felt appropriate for myself or my family. It is a constant theme that you hear from associates, friends or family, and I know that you've experienced it, because it's common human nature to project fears, to project ideations onto other people, and I wanted to make sure we talked about it, because sometimes you'll talk to someone about something and they'll feel like, wait, they're saying I shouldn't do this or they're sharing that I should do it this way, and most of times people don't know how to think outside their zone of genius. They don't know how to think outside of their experiences. They don't know how to think outside the box.

Speaker 2: 4:34

People can be very close off in the way that they move through this world and so, because they're scared to come out of their comfort zone, because they're scared to go after their goals, because of their scarcity mindset and how they approach things, to where they don't want to go after certain goals, do things that's going to make them look a certain kind of way that's going to make them fail out loud in public. People are going to be able to see that they failed or see that things didn't work out. They may say to you hey, you shouldn't do that. But one thing that I've learned through the years is that I'm not going to take advice from someone who has not already accomplished the things that I'm trying to accomplish and, furthermore, I can't allow someone's limiting beliefs stop me from accomplishing my goals, my vision. It's my goal and it's my vision. So I can't allow someone else's mindset or projection to be the reason why I don't do a thing.

Speaker 2: 5:36

And I feel like this conversation is necessary because we talk about building community, we talk about the support that we need, we talk about the way in which we need to make sure that we're moving from a place to where we have like-minded people around us, but it's also important that we have people around us that think differently from us. Right, but when you have those people, whether they think the same as you or they think differently, either way it could be a barrier to you accomplishing your goal and manifesting your dreams. Because if you have people around you that think like you and you're on a quest to accomplish X, y, z, and the person essentially becomes a yes person in that moment because of the fact that they think like you. So it is always important to have people around you that think differently than you, but you have to be able to discern whether that person simply thinks different from you, and it's a different perception as opposed to a projection. So that is the lesson Is it a perception or is it a projection? Someone's perception may be different because they've been there, done that, they've seen things happen this way, and so they may say to you hey, consider doing things this way. And so they may say to you hey, consider doing things this way, because I've noticed that people who go down this road have a much easier journey ahead than people who take this route, and that is different when someone is sharing their opinion, sharing their perception, sharing experiences that they've seen by someone else or experience themselves, versus projecting fear, projecting shame, projecting hurt or emotions that they are personally experiencing or have experienced.

Speaker 2: 7:42

Moreover, another angle that we don't often talk about when you think about projections are positive projections. Sometimes people can provide good information to you. They can tell you that they see something within you, they can tell you that you are deserving of the life. Like I tell you that all the time, people can project positive vibes on you, and then you could feel a certain kind of way about it because you don't feel like you're in that space yet. An example I have for you is recently probably recently, as in not so recent, maybe about four months ago I had someone tell me about a business brand that I should potentially reach out to to be a part of, collaborate with, partner with or whatever the case may be.

Speaker 2: 8:35

I looked them up, saw that they were amazing, loved what they had to offer, but I didn't feel like the timing was right. Nothing in my spirit said hey, reach out to them and do X, y, z, fast forward. Four months later, something in my spirit reminds me about that. It kind of reminds me about people's birthday. Like three weeks before, you're like, oh, such and such birthday is coming up, and then, like two weeks after their birthday, you're like, oh, their birthday passed Right. But no, like there's a little bit more intentionality. This is coming more from the spirit, but I wanted to share that relatability in the simile between that. But anyways, I digress.

Speaker 2: 9:12

Let's get back on course in the conversation. So what happens is in that moment I'm like, okay, like oh, yeah, they told me about them. It didn't align at the time, but okay, I'm going to put that in the clutch, I'm going to keep that in my back pocket. And then it comes up again and it's like okay, now I see a reel on Instagram about them and I'm like, okay, god, okay, I see you. You see, I seen the repetition happening. Let me try to reach out to them. So I send them a message and then I'm like, okay, let's see where it happens, cause you know I'm putting in the work. I send them a message and they respond. They're like okay, let's jump on a meeting. I'm like, okay, let's jump on a meeting. My hair looks a mess child. Ooh, let's not talk about that. I look a mess, all the things but I'm like, okay, I'm not going to be in my way, I'm going to go ahead and jump on the meeting. I'm going to be obedient to God and all the things, jump on a meeting.

Speaker 2: 10:05

It was such a great conversation. It's really a great alignment, but it was also the timing right, like you need to better understand what your values are. Sometimes you need to better understand what you're doing. Sometime God could be unfolding something in your life, like in that season that you need to see what he births. You need to see what comes out of that. And then, after something is birthed, after something comes to fruition, after your gift is just like, really like sparklized I don't know why I use that word you start to realize, like what's your next steps? And you have to have some stillness after that to be able to discern what the next chapter looks like. And so if you're trying to make everything happen at the same time, all the collaborations happen at the same time, all the partnerships, all the job opportunities, all the travel, all the upwards and onwards kind of movement, you have no time to process. So I don't know why that felt important to share.

Speaker 2: 11:07

But I wanted to make sure that you understood that sometimes you're going to get positive projections. Sometimes you're going to get people's experiences and it's going to be something that could add magic to your world. But you don't have to act on it right away. You can put it in your back pocket and see where it aligns, in the same way that you can put in the garbage that negativity that you get for other people. So I would be remiss if I didn't share that piece of projections and how that comes into play.

Speaker 2: 11:37

So I wanted to make sure I added that sauce in for you guys, because I want us to grow together. I want us all to become better people. I'm big on no gatekeeping. Whether you're coming to my events, whether you meet me and talk to me in person, whether you're in my DMs talking to me, whatever the case may be like for me, the more people that can move forward to live the life that they know they're deserving of living is, the better the world's going to be. I want you to own that self-worth, I want you to own your greatness and become the highest version of yourself and within that, stillness has to happen, discernment has to happen, and you have to know and apply that timing and positioning in the way you move forward with your thoughts, the projections you're getting from other people and the way you're acting out and living your life.

Speaker 2: 12:27

So it's just so important that when you're making decisions, you're taking the time necessary to really process the feedback that you're getting and how you're receptive that information. Is the information coming from someone who is projecting their fears on you, or is it someone that is just simply sharing experiences that they've witnessed or experienced and through that there's still some going a level down with that right? Because if that person has experienced it themselves and they have or and or watch someone else experience it it's important to get some nuggets from that experience. But it's also important to understand that you are the sauce in this situation and you have a vision. So if the information you are receiving is one to tell you to take this highway instead of this highway, because at 4 pm the road is congested on this highway but it is smooth sailing on this highway, or you may run into a bump on exit 75 and then it's smooth sailing, whatever the case may be, because you're going to run into some bumps no matter which route you take. But the point is, I want you to better understand how you accept that feedback. You accept that feedback If you are getting feedback from someone who's giving you clear direction on take this route instead of this route, because this route is known to have XYZ and this route is going to make it a little bit easier and they've already done it, experienced it, or what have you that's going to propel you closer to your goal, while if someone is telling you don't take either of those roads, don't go at 4 pm, don't go at all, because the last time I went down that road it was congested.

Speaker 2: 14:39

I couldn't get to where I was trying to go and I had to turn around Child. But if they turned around, how do you know when it clears up? How do you know if somebody won't let you in? How do you know if you can't get off the exit and jump back on? I do that sometimes. It's so illegal. How do you know what you would be capable of if you're simply listening to someone else share how they gave up or how it's not going to work out, or what their experience was with it? Their experience could be dead. Their experience could be old. The information that they're giving you could be obsolete, meaning they may have an extra road or lane on the highway. Now they can have a fast track on the highway now where you can get a pass. There are some other people that has been there, done that and are now coaching for that specific topic area, or what have you.

Speaker 2: 15:42

So the reason for this message is to let you know that you cannot listen to other people's projections of fears, limiting beliefs, lack of self-worth, because those things, as they get projected onto you, will stop you from going after the things that you need to go after, and I don't want you to do that because there are too many different things that are going to be those bumps that I talked about that you're going to run into, and you don't want the first bump to stop you because you're listening to someone else's projections that is coming on to you in the form of fear, and now you're scared. You can't do it Now you're thinking of another plan. But if you got that vision to do whatever it is that you know you're destined to do, then you got to get the resources. You have to get in the right rooms. You have to be in conversation with people who have a growth mindset, who also wanna help you win, who wanna see you win because they're working on winning.

Speaker 2: 16:44

And we talk so much about the appropriateness of having the right social circles, because proximity is everything and if you keep associating yourself with people who are constantly knocking down your ideas, coming up with ways why things can't go a certain way, then I need you to decide to stop continuously associating yourself with those people. If they're friends, if they're associates, start limiting your interactions with them. Get your time back. Start listening to podcasts, start watching YouTube videos, go on some gospel music, go for a walk, go for a run, go to the gym, go to the beach, go for a hike, go for whatever it is that you know that's going to help you go.

Speaker 2: 17:35

But if you know that every time you're around certain people, you leave the situation, the conversation, the experience, feeling like your energy just got depleted. You were shrinking. Now you don't know what you're going to do. You're back to the drawing board. You can't allow them to live their lives vicariously through you from a negative standpoint at that, when we're thinking about projection, and even when it's a positive thing. You can't allow people to influence the way in which you move through your life as an infliction of how they wanted to live their life or couldn't live their life. It is your life, so get feedback as you need to, but be very still in processing the feedback, because too much feedback can really cause you to do nothing. It can really cause you to feel like I can't because they said I couldn't, and you cannot allow other people's can't to stop you from things that you can do, things that you're destined to do because it's within you, in your story, in your passion, in your purpose for why you were created.

Speaker 2: 18:56

So go after those goals, make it happen. Know that you're capable, if it's in you to do it. I need you to get on it and get things done through action and by associating yourself with the right people and understanding that just because someone said you can't, just because someone said it was going to be hard, it doesn't mean that it's not possible for you. Align yourself to your vision. Understand what's for you. When you know it's for you, put in the work and go make it happen. I am rooting for you. Keep going, keep getting better and keep betting on you, because you are deserving of living the life that you know you desperately want to live. You are worth it. You are a big deal. Take up space for the future you and make it happen.

Speaker 1: 19:59

We hope you caught all those gems. So here for all of it. Be sure to subscribe so that you don't miss a gem. Write a review so that we know to keep bringing you episodes like this. And check us out online at itsthehumanexperiencecom to keep up with us. Keep growing and glowing. Catch you on the next episode.