69. Breaking Free from Societal Pressures, Setting Boundaries and Embracing Your True Self with Hazel Brown

What if the very essence of who you are has been muted by the pressure to conform? Step with me, Hazel Brown, into a space where authenticity reigns supreme and learn to navigate life unapologetically on your own terms. This episode is a heartfelt invitation for those, especially women, who find it challenging to maintain their true voice amidst societal expectations. Together, we unpack the vital practice of setting boundaries rooted in your values and discover the liberating power of owning your truth. We'll tackle the notion of being a "good girl" and how it often leads to an inauthentic existence, urging you to shine brightly without fear of discomforting others.

Join our vibrant community as we journey from Las Vegas to Atlanta and DC, fostering meaningful connections that inspire and elevate. We'll share insights on how to cultivate joy, peace, and fulfillment, while learning to say "no" to what doesn't serve you. This episode emphasizes the transformative power of surrounding yourself with people who respect and support your boundaries, nurturing mutual growth and understanding. Stay connected by subscribing and engaging with previous episodes, ensuring you never miss out on the inspiration that fuels our collective growth. Visit our website, itsthehumanexperience.com, and be a part of our ongoing evolution as we embrace authenticity together.

Chapters

• 0:00 Authenticity and Living on Your Terms
• 4:18 Embracing Authenticity and Setting Boundaries
• 13:19 Empowering Authenticity Through Connection

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to. It's the Human Experience Podcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a healthcare leader, wife, mom and career coach. If you're big on authenticity, personal development, perseverance and transparency, you're in the right place. Get ready to be uplifted, inspired and empowered as you become fearless in pursuit of the life you desire and deserve. Our goal is to help you level up by creating a safe space to learn and reflect, while listening to transparent stories from our host or successful professionals and business owners who've agreed to share the parts of success that typically gets X'd out on social media, because that's the part you need to see and hear the process. Go ahead and subscribe. You don't want to miss out on these transparent stories and discussions that reveal highs, lows, aha moments and nuggets that'll help you to grow and glow.

Speaker 2: 1:12

You are now tuned in to the it's the Human Experience podcast. Today I wanted to dive into what it really means to live authentically, unapologetically and on your terms. I'm your host, hazel Brown. In today's episode, we're going to talk about something that every one of us feel and experience, especially as women. It's really like the struggle to own your voice and stay true to who you really are, even if it gets people upset. Here's the thing Life is designed for you to be able to set boundaries based on your values and yeah, it's going to upset some people along the way, but guess what? Your truth is your responsibility. Staying true to who you are is your responsibility. Honoring your truth and living a life that is meaningful to you is your responsibility. And using your voice just matters. How you stay grounded in your authenticity is using your voice and making sure that, even when the world tries to tell you otherwise, you honor your truth and you live in a way that makes sense to you.

Speaker 2: 2:25

I want to dive a little bit deeper, because there's the power in using your voice, and I don't mean just speaking up for yourself, speaking up for others, but I'm talking about speaking your truth and not shrinking to fit in spaces around you, like how many of you have found yourself, like at work with your friends or even with your family, biting your tongue to avoid conflict or to make people feel a little bit more comfortable because you don't want them to feel uncomfortable. And in certain instances you have to be the bigger person, right? Sometimes, times when, like you have that gut feeling and you feel like you are really losing yourself from honoring someone else's truth, you can't shrink, you shouldn't shrink right, you shouldn't shrink to fit into space, this pressure of being a quote, unquote good girl to avoid confrontation at all costs, just to maintain some kind of harmony, that's going to have you feeling like we're boxed in these roles, these titles, this identity of what a woman should be and that suddenly causes you to live a life that just doesn't feel like you're being true to yourself. It's more of a version of yourself that's easy for other people to digest and, I'm sorry, I'm not food. I don't need to be digestible, right, I need you to like me because of me. I like you to like me for my soul, for my values, for the kind of person I am at heart, like it's my truth, it's my being, it's who I am Not because I've dumbed down myself. I've dimmed my light right so that other people can feel like I'm digestible, like I'm not food. I'm gonna need you to go get you a steak and worry about how digestible that is Not me.

Speaker 2: 4:18

Like those things, quietly eat at your spirit. It quietly causes your blood pressure to rise, right. It quietly creates stress, and we know that stress is a killer. You might feel like there's some sense of resentment against people, a career, your relationship, whatever the case may be. Because you're building up that resentment, because you feel like you're constantly questioning your thoughts around people in a job, in a situation, in your relationship, whatever the case may be. Because maybe your opinions, your thoughts, your feelings are never validated, they're never valid to someone else. It always feels like something is wrong with you and you shouldn't keep yourself in situations, relationships, careers, places. That really makes you feel like you are not deserving of honoring your truth and living the life. Because, just to be honest listen, spoiler alert they are every single one of your thoughts, your opinions, your feelings, the real you. It's valid. I want you to honor that. I want you to validate that in knowing that you are enough for you to just live boldly by owning your voice, honoring your truth and being your authentic self.

Speaker 2: 5:41

Here's what I had to learn. Listen, I'm speaking from my own personal experience. It's not just about finding your voice, it's about trusting it. It's about knowing this came from God. This is in my spirit. This is who I am. Everything about me aligns with the younger me, before I got programmed, before people started telling me this is the way you should do things. When I look back, I know that I'm being so true to my younger self. I'm being so true to the evolved version of me Like they align right. Some healing occurred in between the two and some evolution occurred in between the two when I think about the younger me and who I am today. But I can tell you that this is me. I'm trusting my voice, I'm owning my voice and I want you to do that for you. You know deep down inside what really feels right to you, what aligns with your values, how you want to live, and part of living authentically means creating boundaries to protect those values, no matter who gets upset.

Speaker 2: 6:46

The reality is you know that and many times it's just like let's be real. It's like you don't want to be rejected. You don't want people to look at you like, oh my God, she's a mean person, oh my God, she said this, oh my God, she left that job. Oh my God, she left him. Like, so what? You can't leave yourself. That's more important. Are you going to leave you or you leave the job, leave that relationship, leave that friendship, leave that area, leave whatever it is you need to leave behind, because rejecting yourself is far worse than rejecting anything else.

Speaker 2: 7:24

And I ain't talking about God, like, let's not reject God, okay, but really, as humans, I feel like we belong to live, we want to be loved, we want to be accepted and all those things. But I just want you to ask yourself for real, for real, like, do you want to be loved for the version of yourself that's the real you, or the version of yourself that's shrinking, dimming your light so that people could digest you? Because I just want you to know, like, the right people, the ones that are meant for you in your life, they're going to respect you. They're going to respect your boundaries. They're for you in your life, they're gonna respect you. They're gonna respect your boundaries. They're gonna love your life, they're. When you talk your mess, they're gonna laugh, they're gonna love it. They're gonna love because they understand that it's coming from your heart.

Speaker 2: 8:14

They're not, yes, people, but there are people who honor and understand that this is the real you and you're being true to yourself. Like, like they will say, hmm, maybe you should look at it from this perspective when it comes to really allowing you to get some form of positive reinforcement, constructive criticism, if you will, but understand that they will support you living in your truth, even if it makes them a little uncomfortable at first, because they want to know that you're being you. They want you to honor your truth, they want you to live in your life, and I want you to allow them to do the same, because often we want people to accept us, but we are super critical of other people. We want them to conform to our truth and I feel like it's just so important that we allow people to show up as themselves, both you allowing yourself to be yourself, but you're doing that for other people as well, because that's really how it's meant to be in terms of people being a part of your life, and you guys are building together. You're growing together. You're evolving together, whether it be a career you're evolving in, where your coworkers and you are evolving and all the things.

Speaker 2: 9:33

I just really want you to think about that, and I know you're probably thinking like girl. You say it's so easy, like it's so easy to do it, and it's not easy. It's not. But you can start by really staying true to yourself in a world where it's constantly pulling you to conform, by getting clear about your values, like taking some time to really think about what matters to you. What are your non-negotiables? What brings you joy, peace, fulfillment? Sit in that I'm going to rewind what brings you joy, peace and fulfillment. Once you know that, it's going to become so much easier to fill out what doesn't. You're going to filter out the things that are not aligned to you and I know you hear this all the time but practice saying no. It's just so important for you to set boundaries to your commitment so that things don't drain you, Saying no to relationships that don't serve you, no to things that pull you away from the life you're trying to build.

Speaker 2: 10:38

And remember, saying no does not mean that you're being a bad person. You're being negative, you're saying yes to you. Being negative, you're saying yes to you Every time you say no to someone else or something else. You're saying yes to you not because they are a no, but because the reason you're saying no is it doesn't align to the things that bring you joy, peace and fulfillment. And then I just want you to embrace that discomfort because in got, in order to stay true to yourself, the inner voice and the things that are aligned to the person you're trying to become, to the things that you're trying to do, sometimes will upset other people, and that's okay, because it's a part of growth for you and them. They're going to learn how to hear no.

Speaker 2: 11:27

Okay, you can't live your life just keeping everybody comfortable and happy while you're suffocating who you really are. I don't know who this is for, but I need you to remember. The life that you're living is your life. You only get one shot at it. Even if we've had past lives, you don't even remember it. You get little bits and glimpses and you're like maybe this is deja vu or maybe I've been here before, but we don't remember enough about it to really consider it a life we've lived before. So, yes, you only get one shot at it and it's really too short for you to live it for anyone else, for other people's standards for their expectations, the people that matter. They're going to love you. They're going to love the real you.

Speaker 2: 12:13

I want you to show up for the real you. I want you to go after those goals. I want you to stop letting fear hold you back from your goals. I want you to stop letting fear hold you back from being your true self, because all of the things that you want truly starts with you. It starts with you using your voice, you setting your boundaries and you living authentically. Just challenge yourself to speak up for you. Stop being silent, stop dimming your light and say no to the things that don't align to your values. Trust that living your truth is going to lead you to a life that feels right for you.

Speaker 2: 12:53

Listen. If you're not already following the podcast, I need you to scroll up to the top if you're on Apple and hit follow Spotify, follow If it's Apple. Go down to the bottom and hit that five stars. Share it with your bestie. Post the podcast on socials. Post it on Instagram. I'm at. It's a Human Experience. Workplace Therapy Experience Redefine the Future. You Definitely come to some of our events. Check out Workplace Therapy Experience so that you can check out our upcoming events. We're in Las Vegas, atlanta, dc. Share it with someone who needs to hear it and let's just continue creating a space where we're lifting each other up and encouraging each other to be our authentic self. Check out the other episodes if you haven't already, and remember that I'm rooting for you.

Speaker 1: 13:40

We hope you caught all those gems. So here for all of it. Be sure to subscribe so that you don't miss a gem. Write a review so that we know to keep bringing you episodes like this. And check us out online at itsthehumanexperiencecom to keep up with us. Keep growing and glowing. Catch you on the next episode.