72. Embracing Authenticity: Comparison & Social Media's Impact on Mental Health and Personal Growth with Hazel Brown

Have you ever found yourself trapped in the web of social media comparison, measuring your life against the picture-perfect highlights of others? Join me, Hazel Brown, as I unravel the hidden impacts of social media on our mental health and the dangers of comparing our authentic lives to the filtered realities we scroll through daily. I offer a personal glimpse into the meticulous process behind crafting seamless online content, revealing how these polished posts rarely tell the whole story. This episode is a heartfelt reminder that the success you often covet online might be accompanied by untold challenges or sacrifices. We journey together toward embracing our unique paths and prioritizing personal growth over comparison.

Our conversation doesn't stop at awareness; it extends to empowerment. I invite you to become an active participant in our community by engaging with the podcast on platforms like Instagram at "it's the Human Experience" or "Workplace Therapy Experience." As we strive to align with our highest selves, your support through subscriptions, shares, and reviews propels our mission forward. Let's stay connected through itsthehumanexperience.com, fostering a space where we grow and glow together. Embrace this opportunity to nurture your personal journey and find fulfillment beyond the curated online personas.

Chapters

• 0:00 Breaking Free From Social Media Comparison
• 15:37 Empowerment Through Podcast Engagement

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to. It's the Human Experience Podcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a healthcare leader, wife, mom and career coach. If you're big on authenticity, personal development, perseverance and transparency, you're in the right place. Get ready to be uplifted, inspired and empowered as you become fearless in pursuit of the life you desire and deserve. Our goal is to help you level up by creating a safe space to learn and reflect, while listening to transparent stories from our host or successful professionals and business owners who've agreed to share the parts of success that typically gets X'd out on social media, because that's the part you need to see and hear the process. Go ahead and subscribe. You don't want to miss out on these transparent stories and discussions that reveal highs, lows, aha moments and nuggets that'll help you to grow and glow.

Speaker 2: 1:12

Hey, hey, hey. You are now tuned in to the it's the Human Experience podcast. I'm your host, hazel Brown. Today we're diving into a topic that I know that we need to talk about. We're talking about breaking free from comparison so that you could find fulfillment in your own unique journey. Yes, I said unique journey, because yours is different, and it's different for a reason, because we are all here for different reasons, so that we have similarities and things that really tie us together. We are still unique in the way that we live our lives, in the paths that we're on. So I just wanted to make sure I kind of express that from the jump so that you're more familiar. If you're not already following the podcast, scroll up to the top and hit that follow button. If you're listening from Apple iHeartRadio, spotify, all the things Audible let's go. I just want you to make sure that you don't miss any future episodes that you're able to tune in, catch the gems on a regular basis. When you're done tuning into the episodes, scroll down to the bottom if you're listening from Apple, and make sure that you give us five stars. Leave us a comment so we know your greatest takeaway. Listen, tag us at it's the Human Experience on Instagram or Workplace Therapy. Throw us in your stories so that other people that know the great value that you're getting from the podcast, so that they can grow and glow too. All right, let's jump in.

Speaker 2: 2:38

So wanted to make sure we kind of started around some of the statistics when it comes to, like this, social media perfection and why we're not where we're supposed to be kind of feels right. So when we think about the impact social media has on our mental health, statistics shows that up to 70% of social media users have admitted to comparing their lives to others, not to mention how long it takes for our reels to look the way they do. Like that is technically not how it all happened. It's technically not as seamless Meaning when I'm creating a reel. Just really going back to this past Monday, I was creating a reel in the car while my daughter was getting her hair done and it literally took me two hours to curate that reel. Those experiences are real experiences. However, it doesn't happen as easy and clean as it looks. So someone was trying to create a reel as well and they're like 45 minutes in and they're like how come mine doesn't look like that Child? Mine wouldn't either if I only had 45 minutes, so I share that.

Speaker 2: 3:49

To say simple example related specifically to social media, and it really makes you understand. This is why we can't compare ourselves to other people at all. And though we all know this, the timeline, the reels, the feeds, the stories, all of the different carousels and features that social media has, are all curated online spaces. Right In the real world, you can't create your life to where it looks exactly how you want it to look in the real world, like you can be intentional, you can go after your goals, you can have discipline, you can be consistent, you could practice self-care, you could read every morning, you could meditate, you can eat healthy, you can do all the things. You can pray, read your Bible, you can circle yourself, surround yourself, I should say, with people that align with your values. You can make sure that you go on date nights, take trips, all the things, and life will still life in between all of those things that you're doing to better yourself as a person. And so everything that I named, including therapy, are all good things that you can do to make sure that you have a more fulfilling life, but understanding that social media doesn't allow the bumps in the road, the curves, the ups and downs.

Speaker 2: 5:17

Social media in the way that it's used. It's a curated space that shares the highlights and wins that someone is experiencing because they're using social media to build their business, to build their brand, to build their community, to build their social circle, whatever the case is in terms of what they're using it for, and so, as a result, they're typically not sharing all of the lows that they're experiencing life. And if we know anything, we know that there's a duality in everything that we do. So if life is functioning extremely good, there are going to be some shortcomings that are going on somewhere in your life, whether you'd like to admit it or not, and so it's important for you to keep that into perspective, because many times, whoever you're comparing yourself with you typically wouldn't in their shoes, probably not even an hour. Let's be real. The reality is you don't know someone suffers from depression, anxiety, what kind of health ailments they have, what kind of heart they have, what does their heart's posture actually look like in real life, not just the facade or the image that they're putting on on social media, and many times, we don't want that baggage, but we want their success in terms of.

Speaker 2: 6:37

Maybe you want more followers, you want more money, you want more people soliciting your business, you want a better career, you want a family, you want whatever it is that you're looking at, saying that you want, and in that moment it feels like, oh, I just wish. But know that that wish comes with some baggage, just like everything that you have going on. You have some good things going on in your life today, regardless if you feel like you do or you don't. There are things that you have prayed for that are showing up in today's current state situation. If you took some time to just practice some gratitude and recognizing that you've come far, look back at your seven-year-old self, your 17-year-old self, your 27-year-old self, your 37-year-old self, child you last week, you three hours ago.

Speaker 2: 7:24

You have grown and evolved over time and you have to give yourself grace to recognize that and not be so concerned with what someone else has going on, because you truly don't know their whole story, you don't know the entire journey, you don't know what shortcuts they took, you don't know what they buried along the way. You just have no idea. What you do know is who you are at heart, and if you don't take some time to be still to determine what your values are, what you really want out your life in terms of what. Determine what your values are, what you really want on your life in terms of what will make you feel fulfilled, what you want your next five years to look like, your next 10 years to look like. Take some time and sit in that and take less time thinking about what someone else is doing. Their story has nothing to do with you.

Speaker 2: 8:12

Using your gifts may impact other people, but it's not in a way to where you have to compare yourself to others. It's in a way that you have to do the work so that the people that are caught up in you doing the work, they get the breakthroughs that they will get, based on you sharing the message, using your gifts, being the person you know you're called to be. Sharing the message, using your gifts, being the person you know you're called to be. Sometimes we really have to shift the focus and look within to determine what our personal stories are like.

Speaker 2: 8:43

What experience has caused us to be triggered by the things that we're seeing on social media to where we don't feel like we're as far as we should be. Sometimes there's trauma. We don't feel like we're as far as we should be. Sometimes there's trauma, there are personal breakthroughs that you're trying to make happen, but it can sometimes be a result of you being compared to other people, by your family members, whether it's your mom, a friend, a loved one, a sister, a cousin, a brother, an uncle, whatever, and whoever. Think about what that looks like, because sometimes those things that we go through in our lives causes us to naturally get into a place where we feel like, oh my God, we're not doing as good as such and such, but the only person that you should be comparing yourself to is yourself.

Speaker 2: 9:32

It's so easy for other people to make that comment. I'm sure you've seen it on social media. You hear people saying it's me versus me, it's you versus you, but I really want to take some time to sit in that, because the reason it's you versus you or it's me versus me is because I know what I'm capable of. I know if I'm functioning at 50%, I know if my battery is at 80%, I know if I have more gas to go 100%, and I know where I'm at in that process in terms of the gauge. So if I'm at a three-fourth tank, we'll just use gas, as an example, and I'm only functioning to go as far as getting to quarter tank. And then when I'm talking to other people I'm saying, oh my God, I'm on that one quarter tank, but the reality is we know we're at three fourth, so we know we can go further.

Speaker 2: 10:30

Only you can assess that. No one else can tell you how far you can run. No one else can tell you how fast you can go. No one else can tell you how fast you can go. No one else can tell you what you're capable of. You have that insight. You have that internal compass. God has equipped you with the ability to know whether you're being complacent or you're content with where you are or you have more work to do. And only you can gauge that.

Speaker 2: 10:58

Social media, in terms of what other people are doing, should not be your gauge for what else you can do. That representation and what they are doing is a good indicator that, if you want it, if you have enough gas to go further, if you have the interest, you are capable of doing it, because that representation is there to show you that you can do it too. It's not a place to where you should be going to be able to say I'm not doing enough, because your scars are different from their scars. You have no idea how much support they've had, or how little support they've had, based on looking at someone's social media page or being friends with somebody and knowing some of someone's story. I've said this before on a previous episode.

Speaker 2: 11:49

There are so many times that people who are our friends, our family members, our bestest of friends, right, our parents, our kids, our spouses, our co-workers they don't know the half of our thoughts, of the things we've experienced, of the way in which that we have goals for ourselves and we want to show up our fears and different trauma, shame and triggers that we may have around different topics, subjects or experiences. And so, that being said, if the people closest to you don't know, the hearts of who you are at its full capacity. So maybe some people know you at about 80%, some 70%, some three. Most people don't know you at 100% because you're still trying to figure out who you are at 100% and that changes every day. So I share all that to say that it should be something that you take more time to think about when you recognize that you're being triggered by someone or something, whether it's social media, in the workplace, in your relationships, in your friend circles. Listen online or in person and in real life.

Speaker 2: 13:07

Whatever the circumstances, I want you to realize that it is you versus you when you think about that, you versus you. I just want you to pull closer to stillness, reflection, intentionally. Take some time out to go out in nature, go for a walk, take a bath I mean bubble bath. I'm hoping you shower all the time. Do whatever you need to do to get yourself in a space to where you can really think about your values and what looks right to you, what feels right to you for your future, for your future self. You need to be intentional with your time now so that you can work on the action necessary to be the person that you emphasis on you want to be, not what everyone else is doing.

Speaker 2: 13:57

If this episode resonates to you, I want you to go back. Listen to episode 44. That is definitely one of the biggest self-worth episodes that's within the podcast Episode 11, episode 5, episode 66. Those are episodes that are really popular in terms of really getting into the hearts of who you are as a person. And there are many other episodes that I could mention, because the podcast primarily focuses on helping you see that you are capable of becoming your highest self through stories from other experts, from other men and women that are constantly working on personal development, betting on themselves, and they're talking openly about their experience so that they can help you level up as well. So go back and tune into previous episodes and just take the time necessary to be intentional about what you're allowing to shape you as a person.

Speaker 2: 14:52

Allow yourself to redefine success and what that looks like for you by setting your own personal goals instead of following societal norms Like don't be normal child, please. That is for the birds. Be you, be your version of what life looks like. Create your life and live now. Stop waiting, stop thinking it's for everyone else. Stop making excuses for yourself. Hold yourself accountable and know that the life that you want you are deserving of, but you don't want it because someone else has it. You want it because you've done the work to make sure that it's aligned to who you are as a person today and what you want your future to look like. Now go get it. Make sure that you follow the podcast, share it with your besties, tag us on Instagram to your stories at it's the Human Experience or Workplace Therapy Experience. I'm here for it and I look forward to all of the things that you do to align to your highest self.

Speaker 1: 15:57

We hope you caught all those gems. So here for all of it. Be sure to subscribe so that you don't miss a gem. Write a review so that we know to keep bringing you episodes like this. And check us out online at itsthehumanexperiencecom to keep up with us. Keep growing and glowing. Catch you on the next episode.