81. Authentically You: Breaking Free from Shame and Living on Your Terms

If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start building a life aligned with your true purpose—this episode is for you.

Did you know? Research shows only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware (Harvard Business Review). The rest? Are stuck in cycles of programming, conditioning, and societal expectations—living lives they didn’t actually choose.

But not you. Not anymore.

This is your invitation to wake up to YOU—your values, your voice, your version of success.

🚀 In this powerful episode, we unpack:
✅ What self-awareness really is—and why it’s the key to living life on YOUR terms
✅ Why you deserve to explore, create, and color outside the lines (without guilt!)
✅ How identity can be shaped by shame—and how to reclaim it
✅ The truth about shame: how childhood wounds, comparison, and societal pressure keep us stuck
✅ Why your healing is relational—identity is healed in community, not in isolation
✅ A new model of growth: like trees, true growth happens upward and downward at the same time
✅ Why external validation (followers, likes) is an illusion—and what actually matters
✅ The transformative power of visual connection and in-person community—and how YOU can be part of it
✅ Why NOW is the time to redefine your life—and why this podcast is here to support you every step of the way

✨ THIS IS YOUR SIGN:
You are allowed to evolve.
You are allowed to question what you’ve been taught.
You are allowed to create a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.

🎥 JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
➡️ Subscribe on YouTube: @RedefiningTheFutureYou
➡️ Follow us on Instagram: @workplacetherapyexperience

This is where the deeper conversations are happening—visual connection, intentional community, and elevated spaces where you can grow, heal, and THRIVE.

🔥 Your next step:
🎧 Binge the top episodes—start with Episode 74 if you haven’t yet.
⭐ Leave a review if this resonated—your words help us reach more people.
💌 Share this episode with your friends, your community, your sister circle—because we are building this movement together.

You are worthy of a life designed by YOU.
Let’s keep becoming—one conversation at a time.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to the Human Experience
• 1:43 The Rarity of Self-Awareness
• 4:41 Living Life on Your Terms
• 8:35 Rewriting Your Identity Without Shame
• 15:18 Invitation to Connect Visually
• 19:01 Community Over Isolation
• 22:26 Choose Yourself and Grow Together

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to. It's the Human Experience Podcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a healthcare leader, wife, mom and career coach. If you're big on authenticity, personal development, perseverance and transparency, you're in the right place. Get ready to be uplifted, inspired and empowered as you become fearless in pursuit of the life you desire and deserve. Our goal is to help you level up by creating a safe space to learn and reflect, while listening to transparent stories from our host or successful professionals and business owners who've agreed to share the parts of success that typically gets X'd out on social media, because that's the part you need to see and hear the process. Go ahead and subscribe. You don't want to miss out on these transparent stories and discussions that reveal highs, lows, aha moments and nuggets that'll help you to grow and glow.

Speaker 2: 1:13

Hey, hey, hey. You are now tuned in to the it's the Human Experience podcast. It's your host, hazel Brown, and before we jump back into our next guest episode, I wanted to make sure that we talk about some things from the perspective of truth, holding space as we're evolving, because this is the Human Experience Podcast and, just like you, we are also evolving, taking up space and owning our truth. And today I wanted to talk about the part that's really craving more than noise, like you're craving clarity, connection and community that actually aligns with where you're going, and that is what this space is intended to do. So I wanted to sit here before we start bringing on guests, start showing more video to make sure that you really are taking time to be self-aware and living life on your terms.

Speaker 2: 2:09

Self-awareness is really let's go to the definition it's defined as the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively through reflection and introspection. But here's the wildest part. I said let me do some studies, because I've been having some sidebar conversations not related to the podcast, related to some other things and I was like let me figure out what research shows about self-awareness, because people tell me that I'm very self-aware, and then we'll have conversations about things and I'll talk to different people in different situations and environments and I'll kind of think to myself well, that's common sense. Like you should be able to put yourself in someone else's shoes. You should be able to see what you did to play a role in this. You should be able to see how you've handled a situation which would then cause the reaction or the result. And I didn't realize that that is not common sense, right? Research shows that only 10 to 15% of people are actually self-aware, and that was by Harvard Business Review.

Speaker 2: 3:21

What that means, guys, is that most people are living on autopilot, like based on programming, conditioning, societal expectations, fear, and that's why so many of us feel stuck. That's why so many people don't fulfill their dreams and goals. Because if you're not self-aware and you're just going with the flow, status quo, if you will then you don't really realize that you're not stuck. You don't really realize that you can absolutely create the life you want to live. You don't realize that it's all about your actions, your faith, who you surround yourself with, the community I keep talking about community, so I'm like we're going to push that in the community and you have to decide to choose different. You have to choose to live intentionally. You have to choose to define success on your own terms. We have to choose growth that aligns with the person that we're becoming, the person that we see ourselves to be, based on the vision that God has given us, and not just the person that the world expects us to be.

Speaker 2: 4:38

Because don't nobody care what people expect. Like, if you are not proud of you, then what's the point we gonna sit in that, then what's the point we gonna sit in that? What's the point If you're not proud of you, then what are you doing it for? It can't be for external validation, because everybody is busy with their life. Everybody is in their head, everybody is figuring out things for them. So when you think about the fact of you have goals and you feel stuck or you're scared, people are going to judge you. Like who the hell are they that they get to determine whether or not you fulfill your dreams? Like it's you versus you. The only person you owe an explanation to is your future self for why you folded, for why you gave up, for why you won't bet on you.

Speaker 2: 5:25

So one thing we didn't talk about was that wild crime scene investigation episode. Yeah, that was different, but I really wanted to make sure that I let go of shame, I let go of how it would look, I let go of people's perceptions and I did what it is that I wanted to do. So I'm not just telling you to do the thing, I'm actually doing the thing too right. We're out our way, taking up space, trying new things, failing forward as opposed to just wondering what if and so I don't know if that resonated with you or if you even got a chance to listen, but I want to make sure that you recognize that whatever dreams you have, whatever goals you have, you deserve to try. You deserve to see if it's something you like. You deserve to see if you can win in terms of the fulfillment that comes from whatever it is that is within your spirit to do. You deserve to go after your goals and live for you. So definitely listen to it, tell me what you think.

Speaker 2: 6:24

I thought it was cute. I liked it a little bit, but I definitely want to make sure I shameless plugged that episode too, because it was like Hazel, what are you doing? But it's okay to do things that make you question what you're doing. If, inside, you want to try it, you deserve to live, you deserve to try. Things don't have to be so uniform to where you can't live outside the box. So I wanted to make sure that we sat there as well, because the reality is we deserve to try new things, we deserve to use all of our muscles, we deserve to be creative, we deserve to color outside the lines, we deserve to do whatever it is within us in terms of being bold and bending on ourselves, and I want to make sure you're doing that, and this matters because we're living life on our terms, and that's whether you choose to own your terms or you choose not to.

Speaker 2: 7:19

You're operating from an identity that may not have even been yours, like it really could have been your mothers, your fathers, your sisters, your cousins, your grandma, your grandfather, your neighbors, your colleague, like the person that you were going to college with. Whatever that is for you. I need you to take time to really unfold where you are today. It could be the younger you right. Really unfold where you are today. It could be the younger you right. It could be the 12-year-old you.

Speaker 2: 7:48

That said you should do what are you really doing to reflect and decide what current day identity looks like for you before you make your next move, and hence I said you heavy on you, right Heavy on you, oh my goodness, I just really nonjudgmental, but really like sis bro, whoever, I want every being in this world to remove the mask, remove the shame, remove the expectation of others, remove the fear, remove the limits, remove the boundaries that you create when it comes to your dreams. Boundaries are for peace. Boundaries are for other people to create a space that fulfills your life desires in terms of what they have access to, the way they treat you, the way they talk to you, the way they don't do this or they do that, in the sense that you create a space that fulfills your life in the way that it aligns with your principles, with your values, but not boundaries for your goals, not boundaries for the things that you can do in terms of limits. So I really want to make sure that you realize that you better not stop going after the things that make the most sense for you, because you deserve to live a life that really makes you feel whole, that makes you feel fulfilled, that makes you feel like you're in your purpose, that makes you feel like, yes, this is why I was put here. You deserve that feeling and I wanna sit in the fact that you won't feel that way every day. I don't know if I've ever said that on the podcast. I would hope that I have. But I want you to know, this feeling of feeling peace and feeling like wholeness, it won't happen every day at every moment. Just like happiness is a state of mind, it's not a place you go and you stay.

Speaker 2: 10:03

I recently saw something from Myron Goldman. He's always giving gems, he's a whole wisdom guy and all them grades ain't for nothing, right, shout out to Myron. But I listened to something that he shared about how trees grow in several directions right Up and down and then, listening to him, I thought about how they grow right and left. Right Up and down. And in listening to him, I thought about how they grow right and left too, in terms of the branches, right, so it's a straight up system. And then you have the roots down at the bottom and in the same way, the roots are at the bottom. They parallel in the sense that it happens again at the top. And that's what happens in life, like while things are growing in a way of productivity in terms of elevation growth and things are coming together. Things are also going south in that same direction. To hold you and plant you If you'll just hold steady, if you'll just keep putting in the work, if you'll just keep going. And I really wanted to make sure I share that.

Speaker 2: 11:02

Because why do you have shame if every being is going through a process of routine, despite the fact that they're self-aware enough to know that it's happening for them and not to them? I want you to let go of shame because those things are a part of your message, it is a part of your why, it's a part of your purpose. So we're going to call it identity and I guess we should define it right. So identity is the way that you define yourself, based on your values, your beliefs, your experiences and your sense of belonging. But many of us carry an identity shaped by shame, and shame is powerful. Shame is really a painful feeling that you feel flawed, like you're not enough, like you're not worthy. There's an unworthiness of love and belonging and I want you to let go of that. I want you to let go of that because those things don't belong to you, like when you look at research and you try to figure out, like, where does shame come from Like why do people feel so much guilt around their experiences? And because I just like to dabber in the research and figure out all the things. I really wanted to look it up and so I'm going to share it with you.

Speaker 2: 12:23

It comes from childhood wounds, societal expectations, past mistakes and judgments. Comparison, social media, social. Did somebody say social media, unmet expectations and just unrealistic expectations? Let's talk about that. And here's the truth. I need you to hear me. You are allowed to rewrite your story. You are allowed to choose an identity rooted in love and purpose and authenticity. You really deserve that. You're allowed to create a life that really aligns with your values, not just the version of you that the world expected you to be. Did I not say their expectations don't matter? Yeah, I said that. Okay, all right, just thought I'd say that again. But I want to be honest when it comes to expectations and the expectations we put on ourselves. Let's sit there.

Speaker 2: 13:19

I said that I was going to start putting out video episodes and then I recognized that no, sweetie, like we're not going to rush, like things happen and things deserve to marinate. Listen, if you listen to the earlier episodes, you know exactly what I'm talking about. But things taste better when they marinate. And with that, why am I rushing it? Why am I rushing to put that out there? I got some real good guests, guys, some real good conversations really raw, really open, really transformational, really just dope People who show up as their selves.

Speaker 2: 14:01

They struggle with going after their goals, like we all do, but they choose to get back up, no matter what. Those kind of people are my people, we doing it. Messy kind of people we're doing it because we deserve to show up for ourselves. And those people are sharing stories vulnerably, transparently, openly, genuinely. Listen. We're going to find all the leads. You got some for me. Listen, put them in the comments, but we're making sure we really show up. And I just noticed that it wasn't time yet. It wasn't time yet Not just because I felt like maybe I was rushing it, but it wasn't time yet Cause y'all still have not followed me on YouTube. You're not following me on.

Speaker 2: 14:48

Workplace Therapy yes, slap on the hand, like I had to not get many people to come out and follow me on Workplace Therapy or on YouTube, and I said to myself does that mean they're not ready for video? And I like to go based on data. Right, data is my friend, research is my friend, and if we're doing something and people don't want it, then why are we putting it out there? So that told me that I need to take a little bit more time just to make sure that I shameless plug that. Guys, we are going to be on video. Please just take a moment to pause the episode. Go over to Instagram and follow me at Workplace Therapy Experience, because you'll be able to see glimpses of the episode there If you want to catch the full episode. Also, follow me on YouTube at Redefining the Future you, so that you can catch the full episode.

Speaker 2: 15:46

I know that most people that listen to audio podcasts do it in the car, at the gym, while they're cleaning, just kind of having it on the television but not being in front of it. But there are times that you may want to go back to it and see the actual video footage, to put a face to the voice, if you will, or just really get more into it and kind of feel the energies of the conversation, and for that I just want to make sure that I sat in that it's just truly important that as you're listening, you're also able to follow visually. You don't have to change your routine and start listening on YouTube Like the podcast audio version is going nowhere. It's here to stay. But still, I would truly appreciate your support if you would go over to YouTube at Redefining the Future you and follow me, share it with your besties, your go-getters, your purpose-driven, goal-oriented people that you know are ready for transformation and deeper conversation.

Speaker 2: 16:46

Instagram at Workplace Therapy Experience or it's the human experience. It's still there, but I'm so much more active under Workplace Therapy Experience that it just makes sense to follow me there because you'll see it either way. But I wanted to make sure I sit in that because audio is safe, it's personal, it's private, I get it, but I really want to invite you to stretch a little because the visual connections, they really matter and I really want to make sure that I'm out my way and giving you more and in doing that, making that investment in going in person, bringing on guests and all the things. I just truly would appreciate your support, because studies really show that 70 to 90 percent of communication is nonverbal. Studies really show that 70 to 90% of communication is nonverbal and so, as a result, when you see someone's eyes, like their energy, their emotion, it's just deeper, it's more trust, it's more connection. You get to really feel and see who people are.

Speaker 2: 17:44

While my live events is like on another level, I definitely want to make sure that you guys are able to experience more within the community and you're not building in isolation, because this is really built for you to show up imperfect in the process, but I want us to make sure that we're present and we're doing it together. The reality is that's why I created workplace therapy events, because it's so intentional. It's not just about like a typical networking event. It's where, like healing, centered, growth oriented, driven folks that really want to be in a space to, where they're around, other go-getters, heart centered leaders who are choosing to be self-aware, listen, let's talk about that and live life on your own terms. Most importantly, like I feel like it's the place you go to find wholeness and fulfillment and connection, because those connections are genuinely made and you have them long-term, like for real, for real.

Speaker 2: 18:43

The reality is identity is healed in relationships, not in isolation. And I know more than anybody how easy it is to go in isolation, because I've done it time and time again. When life starts to life and the roots start to go south too much and I don't see the elevation in it going north fast enough I too sometimes go into isolation. I am definitely grown up a lot when it comes to that, but I'm human too, and so it still happens, and that shame dissolves with the community more so than it does with silence. And so when you're around other people who are authentic and honest about the fact that life does life, even though it looks like it's perfect on the outside to others, it is going haywire sometimes. Right, it definitely goes haywire sometimes, but it doesn't matter because that's the human experience. And so I don't know. Guys, I just really felt like a nudge to really sit there, because I am so tired of everybody feeling like life is perfect for some and not for them. Everybody lives and we don't have to put on a facade. We don't have to be better than we are. We are enough already.

Speaker 2: 20:00

Social media kills me from a following perspective Everybody wants to have 10K followers and 50K followers and for partnership deals and for getting a check. If you ain't getting checks other ways, I get it. Hats off to you. But my validation does not come from followers, it does not come from likes. It does not come from what other people think. We have got to let that go, because what if no one approves of you, then what do you not approve of you? Yeah, the birds are chirping. Why Like? Why are we allowing other people's validation and perception? The only person I have a problem with in social media land is the algorithm, because when I spend time doing my thing and you don't push my content, the algorithm I hope you hear me. That is a whole thing, right, but outside of the algorithm, we got to let go of comparison. We got to let go of shame. We have to hold on to our identity. We have to hold on to our identity and we have to know that we are very much deserving of living the life. So this is just really your invitation today Even though you're loving audio, don't stay on the sidelines.

Speaker 2: 21:14

Follow us on Instagram at Workplace Therapy Experience. Go subscribe on YouTube at Redefining the Future. You and even if you don't watch it, just stay connected so that when the video content drives or when you're ready to go a step deeper, like we're already in your back pocket and if you haven't already binge watched our top episodes before the next set of video content comes out, I want you to start with 74. I want you to go back to tried and true 44, really all the episodes, but I also hear a lot of feedback on certain episodes that I want to make sure I shameless plug. But just go ahead and listen to the podcast Like it was built with intention.

Speaker 2: 21:56

It was built so that we progress and grow together. We talk about all the things from projection to identity, to fear, to believing in yourself, to the problems and pitfalls and the things that happen to boundaries, to relationships, to the time we spend watching TV versus after going off our goals, to faith. We talk about all the things on the podcast. We will continue to go levels deeper into the things and I just want to make sure you catch yourself up so that, as we're diving deeply, you're not like, wait, what are you talking about? The reality is not trying to toot my own horn, but the podcast was designed to meet you where you are, to help you elevate and move forward.

Speaker 2: 22:43

So listen intently and know that this is your life.

Speaker 2: 22:48

You don't have to be perfect, you don't have to have all the answers, but you do have to be willing to choose yourself, and if you're listening, I already know you are because you're connected. You're trying to make sure that you are focused on growth and I just want you to make sure that you don't grow alone. Share us with the people in your life that wants to live life on their terms. They think like you, they want to bet on themselves, like you. So just don't do it alone and definitely make sure that you remember that we me and you we're in this together. So I hope to see you on Instagram, youtube and that's workplace therapy event, right, like you, definitely want to make sure you do that, because it's personal, it's powerful and I can't wait to witness your growth because the reality is we deserve to live the life that we know we're deserving of living, and we are going to do it together. We're going to do it now. We are going to live now on purpose, take up space while we're growing in two different directions, okay.

Speaker 1: 23:49

We hope you caught all those gems. So here for all of it. Be sure to subscribe so that you don't miss a gem. Write a review so that we know to keep bringing you episodes like this. And check us out online at itsthehumanexperiencecom to keep up with us. Keep growing and glowing. Catch you on the next episode.