It's The Human Experience: Overcoming Self-Doubt, Embracing Emotional Intelligence, Self-Worth, Self Awareness, Confidence & Self Love | Living on Purpose

83. From Shame to Strategy: How Owning Your Story Can Transform Your Mental Health and Purpose with Jessica Pitre

• Hazel Atkinson-Brown

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What if the very parts of your life you’ve been hiding—your mental health struggles, your pain, your shame—were actually the keys to your power?

In this deeply inspiring episode, we sit down with Jessica, founder of Girlfriends Inc. and Be Girl Powered, who shares her unfiltered journey from mental health challenges to living with clarity, purpose, and strategy.

Jessica opens up about how her hospitalization for mental health—once a source of embarrassment—became the turning point for her personal healing and professional mission. She now helps women own their stories, plan with intention, and step into lives they actually want to live.

You’ll hear how group therapy changed her life, why faith and mental health support aren’t mutually exclusive, and how strategic planning became her tool for healing and manifestation. Jessica offers real, practical wisdom for high-achieving women navigating emotional burnout, shame, and the tension between surviving and thriving.

Subscribe & Catch us on video: https://youtube.com/@redefiningthefutureyou

💎 Key themes in this episode:

  • How to transform shame into purpose
  • The intersection of faith and therapy
  • Why mental health support is not a weakness
  • Using planning as a mental health tool
  • Reframing your past as preparation, not punishment

Whether you’re in a season of survival, seeking transformation, or ready to rewrite your narrative, Jessica’s raw and powerful story will remind you that your truth is your greatest tool.

🎧 Listen now and start planning your breakthrough.

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Speaker 1:

I think staying true to yourself is owning your story. I think a lot of people carry a lot of shame from, and guilt from, their past and there's so much awakening and healing that happens when we open up and share our stories Other people are like oh, I'm going to hold on to this. And eventually she was like Jessica. Here's the feelings. Will I need you to tell me a different word besides angry? That describes how you feel? Welcome to.

Speaker 2:

It's the Human Experience Podcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a healthcare leader, wife, mom and career coach. If you're big on authenticity, personal development, perseverance and transparency, you're in the right place. Get ready to be uplifted, inspired and empowered as you become fearless in pursuit of the life you desire and deserve. Go ahead and subscribe. You don't want to miss out on these transparent stories and discussions that reveal highs, lows, aha moments and nuggets that'll help you to grow and glow.

Speaker 1:

Hey, hey, hey, you are now tuned in to the it's the Human Experience podcast. I'm your host, hazel Brown. Today, as usual, we're diving into all the things I have, jessica, on the podcast. We're going to talk through the human experience, the highs, the lows, the wins, the mindset shifts and everything that we have to do to be unstoppable and make our life happen the way we know that we're destined for it to happen. Hey, jessica, thanks for joining us today. Hey, hazel, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you so much for having me. You're welcome. You're welcome.

Speaker 1:

We're going to just jump right into the episode. Right, let's do it, girl, let's dive right in. Yeah, so who is Jessica? Wow, it's such a complicated question, right, like such a complex question, but overall. So I am a founder and executive director of Girlfriends Inc and Be Girl Powered. The premise behind Girlfriends Inc, first and foremost, is just to help women plan strategically and live intentionally through workshops, productivity and things of that nature. And then Be Girl Powered is our new nonprofit initiative, where we're going to be helping empower the younger generation to do the same. I always think about all the amazing things that we've learned along the way. If we were able to know that when we were girls about how to be strategic, how to plan, how to actually create and manifest the life that you want to live and overcome difficult circumstances you know how much further along we would be. So you know, I always tell people that planning and learning how to shift my mindset with that intention was a gift that was given to me as a young girl and I want to be able to give back to, you know, the younger girls of today's generation. But overall, I am a Cali girl at heart.

Speaker 1:

I'm born and raised in California. I'm a mother of three. My oldest son is in college. I have twin boys. They are 11. So I'm a boy mom through and through, even down to the boy dog, wow. But I'm just a person that loves to have a good time but also be intentional and purposeful in in that fun as well. So that's pretty much who I am. I love that. I didn't know you were a twin mom. Yes, oh my goodness, I have twins that are boy and girl.

Speaker 2:

They're 12. They'll be 13 in July, so that's awesome Listen not everybody understands that twin mom journey. That's different Twin life is different.

Speaker 1:

Okay. So double the reward, yes, but also double the challenges and double the missing socks. Yeah, absolutely On the heavy, on the missing socks heavy on the missing socks for sure.

Speaker 1:

That's funny. Oh my God, three boys. It's funny because when I got pregnant with the twins, I said to my husband if they're girls, cause my oldest is a girl she'll be 18 in November and I'm like, if these are girls, you're going to be a single dad. Because I'm not doing it. Listen, the twins, dad and I we have the same exact joke. They just graduated recently from fifth grade. They're going to sixth. And I told him. I turned to him and I was like what if we would have had twin daughters? And even their grandmother was like oh my God, the Lord knew, he knew what I could handle and therefore we have two boys.

Speaker 2:

Yes, absolutely Like. Boys are different, though Very much.

Speaker 1:

They're definitely heavy on, like they just live in boy land that's the best way I could describe it. They wake up fully charged. They wake up, the sun comes up and they're like, yeah, life, I'm ready. Like girls comes up and they're like, yeah, life, I'm ready. Like girls. You know, it's a lot of moods, it's a lot of attitudes and I get in my big girl mood sometimes. So I can only imagine twin girls and me. God knew, he knew exactly what he was doing. Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 2:

Oh my goodness.

Speaker 1:

So how did you get to the point where you wanted to create Girls Inc? Oh, wow, girlfriends Inc originally started as an idea between my mom and I. So my mom was looking for a greeting card to give to her friends and she was like, can you draw something for me and illustrate something? And I draw and illustrate, so it was no big deal. But I drew just a simple card with a girl, with the Afro, and it said hey, girl. And she was able to gift them to her friends and everything. And they were obsessed with them and they were like we want more, we want more.

Speaker 1:

And so that turned into like a small business, basically. And then I was like, oh, I kind of like this, this is kind of fun. And then somehow along the way, god just wove this beautiful tapestry where he was able to help me kind of get back to my original purpose. Because when I was creating the cards and creating the notepads and different things, I was like, well, I don't want them to just be cute, I want them to have meaning, I want them to be intentional, like at least have cute messaging, you know, or impactful messaging. And so, you know, from there it just turned into calendars. Then from the calendar I was like, well, I need to create a planner. And just in thinking over time, I'm like, hey, you know, I've always been a planner girl for forever.

Speaker 1:

Since I, like I mentioned, since someone gave that gift of planning to me and so it kind of just somehow wove into this whole big thing, where now I'm telling people like, hey, planning isn't just a productivity tool. Nine o'clock you're eating a bagel. It's literally what do you want to happen in your life and how do we get intentional about it? So I, in a long roundabout way, ended up back at where my original purpose always was. That I never saw coming essentially Got it. I love it because I'm definitely a planning girl. Me too. I'm going to plan out my life.

Speaker 2:

I'm planning it out. Listen and.

Speaker 1:

I think that I'm in a season now where I'm fully surrendered. So I'm like God, this is a plan, this is what I heard you say, but you could pivot, you could turn me upside down if that's what you want me to do Absolutely fully surrender. But I love that you're intentional in creating that, because we need it. The world needs something to be able to look at that not only inspires you, but it can truly direct in terms of the actions that they need to take, the things that they need to do, to your point. Not 9. Am I need to do this like that? It needs to be granular to that point at some point, but we really need to be focused on what we want our life to look like. Yes, it's so important.

Speaker 1:

When I was in the more primarily stationary space, I would go to so many different events and vend and different things, and one thing I thought was very interesting was people would often come to my table or leave the event feeling discouraged. So they would come to a empowerment event, maybe a summit or something, and they would see these women that they aspire to be. You see these people who are now millionaires, now successful in whatever industry that they're in and they're sitting there and saying I want to do that too, but they don't know how they're going to do it. So they were coming to my table I'm a vendor and I end up in these natural conversations and they're like but how am I going to get there? And I'm like well, here's a tool, how you're going to get there. You need to plan it out.

Speaker 1:

A lot of we sometimes I think we overlook that a lot of people they're not living their dream. They're still in a season of survival, which is okay. But now we have to be able to come up with a plan on how we're going to pivot from that survival survival to doing what you actually want to do, and that only comes from being intentional about writing it down. Okay, you want to move neighborhoods? What neighborhood are you? Do you want to move, to go to it? How much does it cost? Make a plan, and I think sometimes people get so overwhelmed with how they feel discouraged that they're just like there's. No, I can't do it. And so I love being able to partner and collaborate with other you know, creators, speakers, authors, whatever people who put on events and provide people that practical tool and say, hey, here's a resource for you.

Speaker 1:

Here's how you can do it. I was able to shift my whole life with that same principle, and you can too. I'm not. I do think that God made me special, but he also gave the same things that he gave me within, he also gave you. So that's one of the main things I think. A lot of times people forget that people are very discouraged nowadays and they want to feel able to do something and shift their mindset. And sometimes the terms and things that we use feel so. They're kind of frilly, like frou-frou, they're like what does that mean? Shift your mindset? Yeah, you know. Yeah, we don't break it down enough. We don't break it down enough. And I think that by providing that practical tool that's like I mentioned recently I'm like that's force functioning your brain into thinking about what you're writing down. Your brain can only do so many things at one time.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you know that it becomes as simple as just get a planner, just start there, just write it down, write it down and you have control of how you create your life.

Speaker 1:

I promise you we complicate it and make it this big thing Like it needs to be, so like vivacious and all these things need to happen, but the reality is, just go with God, sit with God, figure out what it is you need to do with your life, whatever that looks like, start planning it out and working on the action that you need to be able to actualize it, and then using that planner to kind of help guide you, and then you write a new goal and you make that one happen when you're done.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yeah, I think that people forget sometimes that I think people forget sometimes that it is that simple. You know it's taking that first step. It's. I think people forget sometimes that it is that simple. It's taking that first step. It's getting your brain to think about something different, creating a new pattern. We talk about it in scientific terms, like creating different neural pathways for your brains, but people don't want to hear about all of that unless you're just sometimes like a geek like me.

Speaker 1:

I really love digging down deep into it, but everybody doesn't understand that. But the first way to do that is by literally thinking of something, of where you want to go, not reliving your past, not stuck on your trauma, not all that, because we all have a story to tell. But where do I want to go? And taking the first step there, in my opinion, is envisioning it and writing it down. Yeah, absolutely, I definitely want to go into a question.

Speaker 1:

We we all face setbacks to your point Like how do we stay true to, how do you stay true to yourself when it comes to moments where you feel like everything is falling apart? I think staying true to yourself is owning your story. I think a lot of people carry a lot of shame from and guilt from, their past. And I think a lot of people carry a lot of shame from, and guilt from, their past. And I think that once you release yourself from that guilt and shame and own that that is your truth and own how it is, actually built you and not broke you, yeah, and realize that that's part of your superpower, yeah, I think that that really helps shift that thought, you know, because now everything that I once thought was a setback that was part of building me. I've reframed it into thinking it was actually for my betterment, it was for my good. Even the bad things, even the things that actually almost took me out, actually all came together as a part of the story. I wouldn't be here today if that hadn't happened. Unfortunately it did, but fortunately I overcame, you know.

Speaker 1:

So I think for me, I take thoughts captive in my mind when I have those moments so I can give myself a good self-talk, a good pep talk, and motivate myself. I think sometimes we look to others to encourage us, but really, in reality, we have to encourage ourselves. We have to know how to, on our inner self and our innermost child, say like get up, girl, you know, you got this, you know, and I think that reframing my story and owning it, that is my truth, that is my testimony. That is, if someone came to me and was like you used to do this, you know what I did, and God still loved me and he still saved me and he still found me worthy of a calling, he still, like before I would have been like you know what, dang, I'm a loser.

Speaker 1:

Like you know, I would have allowed that negativity to impact me in a negative way, but now it's like you know what it kind of hypes me up Because I'm like you know what I'm still chosen. All that happened and God still chose me Amen, you know. So I think that a lot of it just comes from learning to read that mindset shift, reframing your thoughts. You know, I love that you spoke on shame, because I feel like that's what holds a lot of people back.

Speaker 2:

Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

It's the fact that we grow up in communities with families and people. There's like, keep it private, don't tell people this or don't say this. Oh my God, this happened. We carry those things with us to where we feel like those things are going to hinder us because, lord knows, we don't want anybody to find out about that. But to your point, when you start to own your truth and you start to recognize that everything is happening for us and not to us. So he didn't put us in these circumstances in the past or in our current state for us not to learn from it. And the past or in our current state for us not to learn from it.

Speaker 1:

And because we can relate to whatever circumstance we went through, we could actually help the girls to your point, the young girls help the people that are on the same path as us, but without us actually going through it. We only have book knowledge as opposed to true hand experience to be able to see the blind spots and the shortcomings that someone may have. You can speak life into someone when you actually know what they've been through and you've come through it. So it's like so necessary, so necessary. But if we sit with what we're tied. It's like, oh my God, like I went through this. I don't want them to know, but why not? What's wrong with it? That's heavy and so good, because I think what happens is that you know, sometimes the voices that we're hearing right, the people who are telling us that they will feel shame based on what you're saying become louder than your own. Yeah, and your care and concern for them and their well-being become louder, becomes louder than your care and concern for self, yeah, and I think when I got to a place that I realized my voice actually matters too. My voice matters because that was part of my trauma, right?

Speaker 1:

So part of my trauma was feeling silenced and that I couldn't speak up. I couldn't say anything to help myself, and I went along. I went along to get along, like people always say, right, and I think that eventually I had to learn to speak up, and so sometimes it's uncomfortable but it's necessary. That was a lesson that I had to learn, and I had to ask myself those critical questions. Like my therapist always says, lean in and get curious. Lean in and get curious about why I felt silenced. Lean in and got curious about why I felt I couldn't say anything because it would disrupt and ruffle other people's feathers, but I had to realize I was also ruffling my own by staying silent, and so I think, when you come to a place of like, I can't keep torturing and sabotaging myself. I'm sabotaging and torturing myself by being quiet about something that I need to actually like release by speaking.

Speaker 1:

And so, yeah, I think people, a lot of people, carry a lot of shame, and I feel like the shame also comes from knowing better and not doing better. You know, we all have been there, um, and the shame also comes from things we've been through. Sometimes, you know, we put ourselves in situations because of that trauma that maybe we shouldn't um't repeat, and I think that that's part of the work. That's part of the work in understanding mindset. People don't want to do the work these days, and that's the concerning part. But at least when you're planning, I feel like, and you're thinking of what you want to accomplish in your future, it kind of forces you to start thinking about everything. Yeah, yeah, in my opinion, I love that so much because I feel like what you talked about on is really like the healing journey right?

Speaker 1:

People don't want to look in the mirror and we use this healing journey term Like it's just so pretty and it is not pretty at all. You got to fight through that thing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I think the reality is too.

Speaker 1:

You talked about having a therapist so you're doing the work, oh yeah.

Speaker 1:

And so many times we don't recognize that it takes the healing and the doing the work to let go of shame and then to also be able to recognize, like the gifts that come out of that in terms of the clarity, in terms of the lives that you could change around the things that you've gone through, because you're not the only person that's gone through it. There's so many other people and there's so much awakening and healing that happens when we open up and share our stories.

Speaker 1:

Other people are like oh, I'm going to hold on to this. No, one of the most life-changing things. I'm an advocate for life. I promise you I will get on any stage, any opportunity, and talk about group therapy. Yeah, okay, I almost lost my mind a few years ago.

Speaker 1:

Remember, like three years ago, and I was impatient and I was hospitalized. I was, you know, my mom had to fly here from California because we were like, what is going on? You know, I was in the hospital and you know they put me in the room and everything, and I'm in there in my gown and I'm laying back and it's like a movie. At this point there's a lady down the hallway screaming at the top of her lungs. I'm looking up at the ceiling like I did it big this time, I really took it there and so my mom was there and we ended up going to another facility. They transferred me to another facility and my mom was frustrated because they're like so you're just going to release her. At that point I wasn't a harm to myself anymore. I was medicated and at least still depressed, still anxious, still feeling terrible, but I wasn't a danger to anyone else, I wasn't a danger to myself. And so they've released me, as they have to. And my mom was like so you're just going to send her home? Like you know, there has to be more that she needs to be doing besides just going to therapy once a week. And the little lady there she was like well, we have an intensive outpatient program, iop program or AKA group therapy that might be good for trauma survivors and it's a women's group. And so I took FMLA and I was out of work for eight weeks and I went to group therapy. And when I say that it was life changing, it was life changing because it made me sit with it.

Speaker 1:

What we do a lot of times is we know our trauma, but because we're in survival mode, because we're doing so much day to day, we don't ever have an opportunity to sit, feel and think. That's the key to sit, feel and think. That's the key. Being able to think and feel at the same time all of the emotions of what you're angry about or frustrated, or sad, or whatever it was. And that time in that group was so impactful because not only did they teach you what is actually physically happening with your body, with your brain, with all of that, they're actually doing therapy at the same time and you're hearing a whole group of other women talk about how they feel. They went through completely different situations, but the feelings of shame, the feelings of guilt, the feelings of whatever, it's all the same it's universal and that was eye-opening for me.

Speaker 1:

My background that's what I went to school for was I originally wanted to counsel and so I'm like book knowledge I have, I know all of this stuff. But it's another thing to go through it as a patient and experience it for yourself. And so for me to be able to connect all of those dots the book knowledge I already had, plus getting through that situation, it was life-changing. So I always tell people listen, if you are having a hard time and you have FLMLA, that's a benefit that you need to use. If you can, short-term whatever you have, take time for yourself and get into a program and allow it to be a tool that's beneficial for you. You know we're the CEOs of our health mental health and physical health and people have to understand there are things that are out there to help you if you're willing to learn, if you're willing to do the work.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know.

Speaker 1:

I love all of that so much I think, just like I commend you on your journey of healing and then using that to be able to help change lives. That's I want to start, thank you, because a lot of people don't recognize the reason why we're going through things is to be able to use those gifts to bless others. So I love that you're actually doing it and I think heavy on the group therapy, not only because I love Anthony's Brown album.

Speaker 1:

So I kind of sit there right, right, heavy on. He's helped me so with some group therapy through his album.

Speaker 1:

But then also, I feel like it just brings you to a place of recognizing you're not alone. You're not alone. It's so crazy, like everybody who was there went through something drastically different. Of course you know some type of trauma, something that was traumatic to them, but no one's situation was the same. Yeah, but you know, still so relatable, so relatable, and every day you know Still so relatable, so relatable, and every day I remember like it was yesterday, you know. So you know, every day you have to go around the circle and say, basically, like, answer some questions, right, so, like, how are you feeling? Find one word to describe how you feel. You know, did you do any risky behaviors drinking, sex, drugs, whatever, whatever, because you get to leave at the end of the day Right? So you're there from like nine to three every day.

Speaker 1:

So everybody goes around through those questions and every day I will always say angry, like she would get to me I'll go to my list and she would ask me for a word and I would say angry, angry, angry. You know I'm showing up in a black fitted hat, all black hoodie. Like why am I here? Anger, like it just gave anger. You know, like I had a chip on my shoulder. I did, and rightfully so, and eventually she was like Jessica, I'm going to go. Here's the feelings. Will I need you to tell me a different word besides angry? That describes how you feel. Love it.

Speaker 1:

And that is when we were able to actually start getting to the root of what was going on. You know, of course, there was still work to do after I left group therapy, but that was like the opening, the catalyst for me finally understanding, like mind-blowing moment. I actually am very angry and I can see the transition in myself as well because, like I said when I first started going, I'm showing up in all black. I'm mad, like why am I here? This is dumb. By the time I'm leaving, I'm back to me, I'm back in my cute little outfits, I'm bubbly, I'm talking to everybody there, and so there was a visible difference, you know. And so I think when people are really ready to do the work, when you're really ready to say yes to a different future than what you've already experienced, then that is the motivation you have, to be ready to actually do something different. Yeah, I love that you kind of were, not kind of.

Speaker 1:

I love that you were transparent about that journey because I've talked about it before on the podcast in terms of moments in my life where it felt like things were too hard and my answer to God was just take me out, like I'm done, I've had enough. And then I had to recognize that that's a trend, that's giving up and you're like ultimately giving up because it's too hard but you can do hard things. So I love that you really spoke through that journey and I think within that space, I think it's important that we sit in it, because I think that too many times we're not being honest about when you're an entrepreneur. That faith walk is not easy, not everyone can relate to it, and so you're going to feel alone often on the journey unless you create communities and surround yourself with people who understand you so that you don't give up.

Speaker 1:

Because many times I look back at moments that I wanted to give up and I'm like I just I just disappear. I've told my sisters before like I'm like this is weird. I'm like God, just like pull me through the upstairs or the downstairs and just bring me out somewhere. It's like you just want to disappear. Yes, and my sister's like that's a weird description of what you want to have right like why do you want to be invisible?

Speaker 1:

right exactly and so it's like you're just tired of going through the things, but it's like we have to learn how to find that community, find that support through a therapist, through people that understand, that make you feel heard and seen, yes, so that you can recognize that you can get through it, because it's a temporary moment, because I'm sure it's been like that for you, like Like when I look back and I'm like girl, if you would have said, forget it, you wouldn't have been able to enjoy this.

Speaker 1:

Like, what is your problem? And that's the crazy part, right, because if I would have been successful in my attempt, I wouldn't be here All of the. I literally am living proof and that's why I don't have any shame in talking about it. I am living proof because, if I would have never imagined that, I would literally be living my dream today. Yeah, I'm living my dream and I'm only living my dream because, number one, I said yes to God, yes. And number two, I'm living it because I'm honest and I've owned my story. No one can make me feel bad about what I've experienced. I don't care if they think that it's negative or whatever. That's the world's view, but when God has called you to do something, you just have to be obedient.

Speaker 1:

I can remember to the day actually, I was on my way to my nine to five at the time and I had it on my heart that I needed to share, started sharing my start, sharing my testimony about what happened when I was inpatient. I feel like in the black community especially, we talk we're starting to talk about therapy and different things, but we don't talk about people that are taking medication, we aren't talking about people who are hospitalized or in the whys behind that trauma. We're at the tip of the iceberg. I feel like right. So I felt on my heart that he wanted me to talk. He was like Jessica, you need to speak, you need to open your mouth. And I had been doing what I was used to doing in my trauma, which is feeling silenced, not saying anything, just because I don't want to ruffle feathers. And so I remember that day I just posted on Facebook. I sat there, I pulled over, sat there, typed a long message about hey, I still have a picture of the band. When I was hospitalized, I posted the picture and I said this is what happened da, da, da. If you're struggling, whatever, it's never too far for God to save you. You're never too far gone for God to save you. You're never too far gone for God to help you. And from that I literally put in the bottom of my post that God has told me to speak. Speak with authenticity and a genuine heart and spirit. And look where I am today, like literally being obedient.

Speaker 1:

Number one is the key thing, but also owning your story Sometimes, like you said, the most important parts of your story are what's going to help other people, and they can't help you if you're not being genuine. Yeah, and people pick up on it, real, recognize real Right. And I think that's the most important part is to know that what you're doing is of your life, like you're not following trends, you're simply surrendered and following what God is telling you to do and with the impact that you're able to make. People are like how are you able to do it? Child, it's God, it's not me, man. I had a lady ask me the other day. She was like how are you doing all this stuff? I'm like it's not me. I promise you it's not me. And it's only because people feel like they're so far gone. They're carrying the weight of shame, they're carrying the weight of being a victim, but we don't have to walk in victimhood. I have been a victim. I've been a victim of a lot of things, but I don't walk in victimhood. I know that God has declared that I am victorious, so I have to learn. I had to do the work. People don't want to number one.

Speaker 1:

People, unfortunately, nowadays think that things come easily and that's kind of like what I was recently saying on another on a panel, is that when you are in survival mode and you're trying to do something and overcome hard things, you don't have the luxury of sitting back and wanting a soft girl life. You don't. You have to press, because it's not pretty, it's not easy and you know there's this, this tone that's being set for for people nowadays that just sit back and because you're a woman, you don't have to do anything. Well, you know, maybe that's some people's blessing, but if you're not in that situation, there's no shame in that, right, there's no shame in pressing through difficult times and doing the work to overcome. So I kind of want to help speak to that narrative, because it's one of those things.

Speaker 1:

It's like people are sitting thinking like, well, why can't I do that, why can't I live that way? Well, maybe God didn't call for your life to be set up that way and are you willing to go through it? Because a lot of times we have these innate abilities and gifts but we don't want to go through the process, right, and the process looks like being honest about your truth and going through the healing journey as it relates to figuring out, like, why you're holding on to certain parts of your trauma that was actually used to be able to build you up. So allow yourself to hold onto that trauma from the perspective of God. You gave this to me because we're supposed to use this to empower other people, to maybe close some of the gaps for the amount of people that are exposed to certain things or stay in it too long. I think that part is important.

Speaker 1:

We live in that shame way too long when it's heavy on living now, and so I relate to what you're saying so much, not only from like experiencing moments in my life where I've wanted to give up, but also from understanding that we only have one life and we deserve to live it now, not in shame, but to enjoy it. And it's like it's up to us to decide to live in that life. And so that really leads me to the next question, as it relates to what was the moment in your life that you realized that you were the only person holding you back? That's a good question, I would probably say. It took another person's comment for me to realize that that's what I was doing. So I got into an argument, heated discussion with a friend at the time, and she used my past against me. You know, we were in that heated exchange and she was like that's why you this and this and this.

Speaker 1:

And at the time I was, I felt that shame come back over me and I think that I had to take that as an opportunity to ask myself like hey, are you going to believe what she's saying when she's speaking on you? Are you going to believe what God is, god told you you are? Are you going to believe, um, what you've learned, what you've overcome who you know that you are deep, deep, deep in your heart. Learn what you've overcome who you know, that you are deep, deep, deep in your heart, you know. And so I think that I had to press through that myself. And you know, there's always times where you everybody always has a good and a bad wolf, you know, one that tells you you can do it and one that's like, girl, you tripping, give up. You're a loser, you know. And it's just a choice every day and I feel like, you know, I don't really.

Speaker 1:

Besides that one conversation, I think that that was a pivotal moment for me because I had to choose at the time and since that time, I have consistently chosen to feed the wolf that believes the good in me, to feed the wolf, that knows I have a call Feed the wolf. That that's a call. Feed the wolf. That, like, that's a choice every day you have to make, because there are some days that you're just like you know what I suck. Yeah, but you have to choose deliberately and intentionally, so I don't know if that's something that anyone ever stops doing. You know everyone that's like when they created this term imposter syndrome, you know that's we. They created this term imposter syndrome. You know that's. We all experienced that, right, you know, and it's just a choice to go.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, don't be.

Speaker 1:

You know, get that little voice like you being a hater no, yeah, and then move forward with what you actually want to do. Yeah, I love that so much because I think that a lot of guests talk about imposter syndrome and I'm heavy on. It's just that you're in a new environment. Like you, you're not in your comfort zone anymore, so it's like Ooh, child, this is, but you got to know who's guiding you.

Speaker 1:

You got to know that he always shows up for you and you have to continue to choose the version of you that shows up and shows out, because you deserve to take up space and enjoy your life. Oh my God, yes, I just recently went to a retreat, um, and I was there, and I was there with, I was a speaker at the retreat, and I was there with a lot of heavy hitters, you know, and there was a moment when I got there I was like, why I'm the small fish in the pond right now? I'm just now starting on my journey of speaking and doing a lot of different things, and so I'm there with more seasoned people. And there was that time, that moment, that I thought, like, why am I here? I'm a little fish. And then I had to remember, I had to turn that thing into a sermon in my own mind and I was like, but the but little fish grow to be big fish, right, right, you are here because God is expanding you. You're here because there is room for growth. There's here because God is growing you. And like, that's what I'm saying is, once I went to group therapy, and I'm telling you, three years ago, when I went to group therapy, and it helped me reset my mind and what I was telling myself. That was the life-changing part, because instead of saying I am the little fish and I'm too small to be here and why am I here, and talking myself out of it, I was able to talk myself into it and into my own growth and I was able to walk with my head held high, versus if I didn't have those tools in my tool belt. I mean, I did have the book knowledge, but again, it was different to go through it myself, for sure, once I had those tools in my tool belt. Now I'm like you know what Obviously I'm here because God told me to be here. Yeah, obviously I'm here because he's expanding my territory and increasing me and I have the capacity.

Speaker 1:

You know, people forget that diamonds are forged under fire. For sure, coal is not An easy process. Going from a lump of coal to a diamond is not easy. The piece of coal is not strong. You could break it. It's only when it's forged under fire that it becomes almost indestructible.

Speaker 1:

It's like you've got to go through that. You've got to go through the fire and a lot of those challenges that we experience each individual. That is your fire, that's your time in the kiln for God to build you into being what he called you to be. Yeah, I love that so much because I think you just spoke about the process from going from a coal to becoming a diamond, right, right. But I think that if the listeners go even further back, the process to even create coal is something else. And I only know because I have a brother that lives in Jamaica and he does coal sometimes and he'll send me the videos of putting all these bushes over the coal and getting it to withstand all that heat. It's like a day, it's days worth in process and I'm looking like have fun, have fun.

Speaker 1:

I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, and we want the diamond, and we want the diamond. But we don't want to go through the process of becoming the coal, nor do we want to go from a coal to a diamond. And we got to go through the process.

Speaker 1:

You got to go through the process and I always remember it's like when I saw you the other day and we were talking about in the garden and similar to this situation. We're talking about the coal. What I love most about those of visualizing that is that in the garden there's a gardener. That is that in the garden there's a gardener and when their coal is being selected and worked, there is a person in this situation your brother that worked it. He selects a piece of coal and decides this piece of coal is going to go through the process and that is God.

Speaker 1:

And that is the part that we can't ever look over it. When you're in these seasons and you're going through the fire, it's because God selected you ever look over it. When you're in these seasons and you're going through the fire, it's because God selected you to go through it. When you're in the garden and the gardener is tending to you and God is tending to you and he's pruning you and developing you, it's because he saw it to be done that way so you could bloom, so you could blossom into who you were called to be. And that's the part that we it doesn't really matter if you're like this leaf is good and God's like, no, it needs to go. He's like pull it. That pruning is hard but it's necessary, it's very necessary.

Speaker 1:

And you know I have an aunt she's 78, and she's so sweet and she's always ministering to me and speaking wisdom into me. And she was here recently and she was like you know, god wants you to know that everything that you've ever been through, he was with you. It hurt him just as much as it hurt you, but he knew that all of it was going to work together for his glory. The whole story that you have was going to bring glory back to his name. Yeah, so he had to let you go through those tough times to get to the fullness of who he called you to be. Yeah, and I'm like you know it's a lot to take in sometimes because it is hard, life is hard yeah.

Speaker 1:

Life be, lifin' Life be lifin' yeah.

Speaker 1:

You know I love that so much and I think I want to have you on the real recognize real because of event that you recently spoke at.

Speaker 1:

I was in the audience and so I talk all the time on podcasts about the events that I host and just hearing you speak like for me it spoke volumes as it relates to like your authenticity, as it relates to like this is truly the journey that you were called to speak on and that you've been through, and I think to me that's what I look for when I'm looking for people that are providing that feedback to attendees and helping to change and move lives.

Speaker 1:

And so you talked about like being somewhat of an imposter in that environment that you went to.

Speaker 1:

That's kind of exposing you to bigger fish in the pond, but I think it's important that we sit in like to give yourself grace as it relates to there are so many people that appear to be further along on the journey but they're not happy with self because they skipped the work so they could have gone through societal goals from the perspective of they have a million followers or they have a million in their bank account or whatever the case may be for their lives, but they're still not happy and they're still in the state that you were over three years ago.

Speaker 1:

But you've done the work and so you're coming from it, from such an authentic place to where you're healing and you're choosing every day to be intentional about the way you live your life and the way you impact the lives of others. And so sometimes we don't realize that it may look like we're the small fish, but we're actually the big fish because we love our life and we build it in a way that makes the most sense for us, that we can make the most impact. So I wanted to give you your roses there I appreciate that so much.

Speaker 1:

I appreciate that so much because, you know, I just pivoted from my nine to five to full-time entrepreneurship, literally just in obedience, and I sat at my desk many a days and I felt God telling me like it's time to go, it's time to go, it's time to move. And I was like Lord. Like you know, I'm like give me a sign, Give me a sign. No one more, you know, I kept saying that. And so, finally, when I decided to be obedient to what he told me to do, I felt like everything is just, everything is working together. All of these different things. It's like that song everything is working out for me.

Speaker 2:

I promise you yes, everything is working out for me.

Speaker 1:

Yes, it is, and it's like I'm just so eternally humbled. Honestly, I'm humbled, I'm honored to share the story because this is my truth, like I understand, because I went through it. I think, like we were talking about initially about shame I'm not the only person that's been hospitalized. The difference is that I'm bold enough to speak about it because I've owned my story and I need other people to understand that they can own their story too. Whatever their purpose, calling or path is.

Speaker 1:

You can't move towards that if you're not willing to move past what has already happened. And you can't move past what's already happened if you're not willing to acknowledge it exists. Sometimes, when we just keep you know it didn't happen, nothing happened, and pretending, we're not acknowledging and giving a safe place for our inner selves to actually heal and flourish, and so I'm grateful I'm continuing to heal. You know, healing is a forever process in my opinion, um, but I think what's also healing for me is being bold about the things I've gone through, um, and I just want to. You know, I don't have to have everything in the world, but I just want to know at night that I have been obedient to what God told me to do and that you know. I know that he will give provision to the vision that he gave me, so I'm blessed to be here. I really appreciate you saying that. You know I get so passionate about it, especially when I'm on stage, the questions that they ask, because I get frustrated when everyone makes it so frilly.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so everything is just all packaged so nicely and it's like come on, it's like girl be serious.

Speaker 1:

Be, so serious, like everything is not perfect, everything is not just. Oh, I woke up and I only do Pilates and hot yoga every day. Like no, sometimes things suck and sometimes you have to cry in the shower, shower and then give yourself a pep talk. Sometimes you need a nap. I'm heavy on the podcast. I go take a nap, a power nap, a cat nap and get back up.

Speaker 2:

Listen.

Speaker 1:

I love a nap. You know why? Because it's a manual reset for myself. I'm like you know what? I'm going to give myself a nap, I'm going to wake up refreshed and I'm going to try again. And sometimes I just try again. I say, you know, if he wakes me up to see another tomorrow, I'm just try again.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we're not perfect. No, I always tell my son that he's 18, he'll be 19 actually on Sunday, and he asks me stuff all the time. I'm like I said I don't know. This is my first time with a 19 year old. I'm just a girl and you are just a young man. We are just. I'm growing as you're growing too. I'm growing in my womanhood and my motherhood and you're growing as a young man.

Speaker 1:

Some things I don't know, give me a moment. And so I always tell people that I'm like you're just. This is just your first human experience. Give yourself some grace, we don't know. Yeah, I love that so much because I think that in my parenting I'm very much like I'm Hazel. I don't show up as the mother, I show up as Hazel in every iteration of where I'm at in life and I think it's so important that we give ourselves that level of just humility, to recognize that we are human, just a person, listen, and I think that you help them get to that space faster, right? Because I feel like in generations past it's I'm the mother, I'm the grandmother, I'm the this, and then we hold them to that title.

Speaker 1:

Like oh my God, they're my big this. How come they didn't do this? Or, oh my God, they're my mom, how come they didn't do this? They're trying to figure it out, just like you, whew, you know what. That same sentiment has really helped me to forgive a lot of people, because when you realize that people are just 99% of the time, they're just doing the best they can with what they have, they're doing the best they can with the skillset that they have, with the mental capacity that they have, the healing that they have, the whatever they have at the time is how they're. That's what's governing them. So if that person hasn't had an opportunity or hasn't decided to do anything different, that is their governing body. They're not going to make any decisions that go against that, and so I think, once I was able to honor that honestly, that is exactly who they are and release it. I just go on it with my day. Absolutely, it's funny. One of the first set of personal development books that I read was the Four Agreements.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and one of the laws is don't take anything personally. Oh my gosh, I just got into a conversation recently with someone. I was like you're taking it personal. Yeah, because when you realize that people only put out their own level of healing, their own level of self-love, when you realize that all of what people say and what they do really only has to do with them For sure, how they treat people, how they interact in the world, that's a self-reflection that doesn't have anything to do with you. Yeah, and I think that's so important that we talked about that, because so many times you're like holding on and thinking, oh, they didn't call me, they didn't say this, they didn't do that. They are going through their home own human experience. Right, and with going through their own human experience, they're trying to unpack what's going on in their world they're not thinking about you.

Speaker 1:

They're not studying you, and it's not even that they don't care. Sometimes they just don't have the capacity right, and that's you bring up. Another good thing that I love talking about is some you really truly have to be the change you want to see. I know everybody has heard that expression, but they don't practice it. We have so many events that I go to. One of the questions that they ask on the panel is how do you continue to be a girl's girl? This is a phrase that people use. I'm like I'm a girl's girl because I give the love I want back.

Speaker 1:

I don't go into a room and wonder with my arms folded why is no one speaking to me? No one's speaking to you because you're not speaking to them For sure. Action, reaction, it's simple Energy. You don't have good friends because you're not a good friend, right? You don't have good relationships because you don't have good relationships with yourself, right? These things are a reflection also of you. So I don't like when people are like there's no good men left. Are you a good woman? Yeah, you have to be exactly what you want back. If you're not ambitious and having vision and working on your goals every day, then why would you require a man to do that? You want a genuine man with character and integrity and honesty and loyalty and all these things. But do you demonstrate that in your own life? Right, you literally have to be exactly what you want back and you can't count it as okay. I saw someone today and they had a rude interaction with me. So that doesn't work. It does work because it doesn't. It's not the person, it's the principle, it's putting it out into the atmosphere and giving God the glory through whatever interaction you have, whatever your ministry is.

Speaker 1:

I was always raised that your job or whatever you do is your ministry, so you do it with excellence. It doesn't matter if you clean tables. I've cleaned tables. I worked in a school cafeteria in college. You do it with excellence because that's your ministry. And people don't realize that they're not getting back the results they want because they're not being what they want to see. They're not good at whatever they are and where they are in their process. Yes, is what I really heavily pull from that, because I think to the point of us talking about the process. So many times people like if they're of God in terms of spirit-led and faith-centered. They see the vision, and they're just so focused on getting to the finish line Right that they're not standing up the days of cleaning in the cafeteria of excellence. So how can he trust you with the next thing?

Speaker 2:

That's important and you may feel like oh my God, I'm stuck.

Speaker 1:

Why is this not working out? But you can't do what he gave you to do. Why do you expect him to give you the ball Girl? You have a little hoopty right now that you don't take care of, you, don't wash, don't get an oil, change All this and all that and you want a Lambo Right. Make it make sense. Make it make sense.

Speaker 1:

The Bible says that you have to be faithful in the small so he can bless you with more, and I think that that's so key People principle when you have principle, it doesn't change what situation, it just is, yeah. And so I think that when we get back to the basics of you know if you're faithful like me, you get back to the basis of what does the Bible say and governing ourselves the best we can in that way, and then also being willing to go through the process and do the work to better understand ourselves. So when he does bring you to bloom, when he does bless you, number one, you give him the glory. And number two, you're better off for it because you went through the process. Yeah, you done built that muscle. And number two, you're better off for it, yeah, because you went through the process. Yeah, you done built that muscle. You know what you're capable of. It's like, ooh, child, I could do anything, I'm strong. I mean, I do sometimes get tired of people saying, like you're so strong, I'm like I don't, I'm not strong enough. In that sense, I feel like I've endured. Sometimes we have to realize it's not a you know what's the tortoise and the hare, like the example they give of, like the turtle running and the rabbit running right, like one is moving real fast and one is not.

Speaker 1:

I feel like sometimes we have to build up our spiritual endurance and we have to understand that slow and steady sometimes win the race. Win the race. Sometimes you just got to just one step every day, every day, yeah, because it's you versus you. It's you versus you. You don't have to get there overnight. Yeah, just get there. Yeah, absolutely. I love that so much and I think it really kind of brings back where people are like going on a marathon and they kind of just come on the field, the track field, if you will, and so you're kind of like, oh, how come they're there? They've been in there practicing, you just got there and it's like heavy on. You're comparing your year one to their year 50. And you don't know how long they've been in there going through the process to get to where they are and you're not willing to go through what they went through to get to where they are, but you're ready to be where they are.

Speaker 1:

You want to be like them, but would you be willing to own the same story that they had go through, the same thing that they had to get there? That's so good. Yeah, and I think that to your point about like expanding on things is like back in the day, I feel like we got all the wisdom we needed. They just weren't expanded on because it's like people will say, you wouldn't want to walk a mile in their shoe but they don't express what all that journey really entails.

Speaker 1:

Right, they never really broke it down, right, and you're like oh, and they never really broke it down. Yo, that's the thing that's so crazy, right, like as an adult now realizing that a lot of what the phrases and adages that people had back then they're true, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Very much so. Yes, very true.

Speaker 1:

You're like oh, this is what this means, that's what my grandma meant, but I didn't say it that way. Why should? You break it down, but at least we had the wisdom. You know it was poured into me and I'm grateful for that. But now the dots are connecting. The blues clues are really, you know, coming together and they don't connect until we're ready for them.

Speaker 1:

I think that's what we don't recognize. Is that, to your point of your aunt, like pouring into you? Yes, Like we can be poured into by the people God needs to pour into us, but it won't. The light bulb won't light up until we're ready for it, Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

But the fact that it's there in our container, in our tool belt, ready to be pulled when we need it. That's what's important, and I think so readily. We want all the tools to be in our hand. As long as they're in our tool belt, we're good to go.

Speaker 2:

We have what we need.

Speaker 1:

Yes, very much. So that's so important, I think, to know that you are equipped. Yeah, you know, I think, that people search all over the world. There's a song, too right, I searched all over. You know, all my stuff always ends up coming back to God, Because it's just true for me. Yeah, people search all over. They try drugs, they try promiscuous behavior, they try a million different things, and not to say that those things are, you know, for each person has their own story. So it's not to bring shame upon anyone who's experiencing that, but the only person, the only thing that gave me true healing and fulfillment was number one, god, and number two using the tools he gave me through actual therapy. They go hand in hand.

Speaker 1:

To me, I feel like it was connecting both sides of my brain and my heart, everything together to help me actually move forward, because a lot of times, people want you to choose one. They want you to either be faith-based healing or therapy and science. It's like God made science. God made book knowledge as well. We can use that as a means of helping us understand our body. He gave us these bodies as well too. We need to understand what our brain is actually doing, why our body has different reactions to different things. So I feel like it was the coupling, the marriage of those both that helped me actually see, not only feel healed, but see the healing in myself. You know, if that makes sense, that does.

Speaker 1:

It's like giving yourself that ability to reflect that I am growing and all of this does make sense and the fact that you've married it all together really helps you to be the person that you're showing up as today. I feel like it's like gluing the pieces of the puzzle together. I talked about that a little bit on another episode that we were talking about, essentially like college and education gives you all of the different pieces, but it's up to us to be able to glue it together, and it sounds like the foundation of therapy, faith-centeredness in terms of God, and using those gems and gluing everything together just helps you be able to execute it. And I'm heavy on singing on the podcast, so I can't help, but like wanting to say nobody greater, listen, nobody greater. I just I can't. I can shout it from the rooftop and you know, I just think that you know, I, I tell people all the time I'm like just just try him. Yeah, you know, just try him and see. You know, because you know, if it don't work out for you, call me, but I promise you he's at the door, he'll knock and he wants you to answer.

Speaker 1:

And when you try him and decide, like you know, I'm going to let go of that control and that feeling of need to be in control, yeah, and give it to God. Give my problems, my cares, worries, all of it to Him and also work on myself. It's empowering, because nothing that anyone else can say about me matters more than what God says about me, and that is like those simple ways of governing myself. That's what helps me hold my head up high Things that people would have said before that would have hurt me or impacted me. It's like I don't care, because I know what God told me I am. I know who God told me that I'm going to be, so why would I care about what you have to say? You're just one person?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely. I think it's so important to get to a place where you're creating those boundaries in terms of, like the people that you're putting in your life and keeping within your circle, to make sure that you're honest about what it is. You want to stand up, based on what God told you, because many times you can have people in your life that is like girl, what are you doing? Why did you leave that nine?

Speaker 2:

to five. Why are you?

Speaker 1:

doing this and it's like but God told me to do this, so I have to make sure I'm drowning out the noise and I'm standing up what makes sense for what God told me to do, and I'm a good steward of what he's given me and what he's got me doing. Oh, that nine to five one. That was hard because there were people in my life that were like, what are you talking about? And I just had to get quiet. And that's one of those times where I had to allow my voice and what I know to be bigger than what other people think.

Speaker 1:

And that is very empowering to know that, to know myself as a little girl, a girl who felt silenced, a girl who felt she had no voice, a girl who didn't know that it was okay to stand up for yourself All these things that I had, you know, learned as a child and come so far, to a place of like I'm actually speaking for a living, I'm actually sharing the uncomfortable thing, I'm actually doing things on my own time, in my own terms.

Speaker 1:

That's amazing, like I can give no one the glory but God, but also the fact that it's empowering for me as a woman to know like you've overcome, you've come so far from where you were, you know, years ago, absolutely, and that growth is like so important. It's funny, cause after losing my mom, like I really like develop my relationship with God like stronger than ever, like clearly, when I was in college and all through my life I had a relationship with him and that would always be like my backbone. But when I lost my mom it was like fully surrendered, cause that was my person and it's like I can't do this without my mama, if I can't do it without you, like I have to have you.

Speaker 1:

There's no way that I can do this journey and continue this journey without you, god. So it's funny, because my mom was heavy on God. I talk about that a lot in the podcast but she was heavy on God to where she's like love is the master key, it's her biggest thing and God is a jealous God. And so after she passed, it was just kind of like I think I say that on episode one, two or three that I was like okay, we're not going to use intuition, no more, we're not going to use gut, no more, it's straight Holy spirit. God is very clear. Cause my mom and cousin would call me and say, hey, I heard some of the YouTube things you were doing, but I heard you talk about intuition what are you referring to? And I'm like it's God and they're like so why don't you say that? And I was like because I don't want to step on other people's beliefs. And then after she passed, it was like, okay, okay game over.

Speaker 1:

Okay, lord, we saying it's God, it's the Holy Spirit, it's very clear who it is. And then also you realize you're blocking other people's blessing by using these terms when it's clearly God that's holding you up to make you recognize that, like you could run the ball you got this like.

Speaker 1:

I'm never gonna leave you. Oh, that's good, that's good, that's really good, hazel, because I think that that's a thing of this world right, where they take principles that were God-driven and they try to water them down to be more digestible for more people to want to be a part of, and it's like your intuition, that's a word they created, because God gave us these bodies for a reason. He gave us those feelings for a reason and within ourselves, called the these bodies for a reason. He gave us those feelings for a reason and within ourselves, called the Holy Spirit for a reason. But I think that it also comes from when you don't have God, that sometimes that feeling can still occur, and so a lot of the phrases I feel like were ways of them trying to describe that feeling or that thing. It's like no, it was still God, though. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It was definitely still God. It's still your internal compass, it's still your internal compass that God gave you to discern.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you know that's so important and I think that that's very true. People definitely try to water down the message. The message is still the same. The message has always been the same same. The message has always been the same. Yeah, absolutely, I love that so much. I feel like we talked about so many things and I want to circle back on, like building communities, partly because you've come to my event, so I definitely want to shameless plug that what was?

Speaker 1:

the experience like for you at the event that you came to call for more Wow. So I think that the event itself you know, really want to give you your flowers because it was a beautiful event and I think what made it special is that it wasn't just the typical tip of the iceberg event where people are just only saying the good. I think people were sharing the fullness of their testimonies, the fullness of their stories of how they went from point A to point B and the process that they went through to get there. And I think that I really love your event because I'm a meat and potatoes type person when it comes to conversation. I don't often do just like, oh hey, surface level, I'm not a surface, I'm really not a surface level person. So I really loved it because everybody was digging deep. Everybody was really digging deep to get to those gems, to share with the audience and help them like no, we're not going to just, you know, talk about the good in the process. We're talking about what I went through and had to overcome to get there. Yeah, I love that so much. It kind of brought me back to something you said at the start of the conversation as it relates to really like getting to the bottom of things and also not letting people leave events and feeling like they're alone and they don't know how they're going to get there, and that's important to me. That's why I have the podcast as it relates to talking through the human experience because, to your point, people are struggling. People are going through so much in their minds as it relates to what they can and cannot do and if they're good enough or they're not good enough for a thing. And I think it's because on social media, we're doing so much x-ing out our process, like we do an x, when the reality is we're all going through the human experience, and so it's important that we use our voice to your point and really share the journey, and I saw that in you when you were talking to your point. It was very clear, like we're going to talk about the things, so we're going to make some real transformation. Let's get to it, okay, let's get to it Like, if I think that that's so important, like I have done, so I'm been doing my business technically since 2020.

Speaker 1:

Um, and I think that through a myriad of events that I've worked in just so many situations people really do leave the events discouraged. People get in my DMs all the time, or even when I'm in different environments, and they're like I want to go to the event because I think it will help me. I need to get out, I need to make new connections, I need to. You know, I was at home and I really wanted to go and it looked like a good time but I was scared, like so many different things.

Speaker 1:

People battle within themselves to even get to the event. Then they get to the event and I hate to say it, but the event is not talking about anything. The event you had a cute five little meatballs, a cocktail and some pictures, some Instagram pictures and that person left unchanged and so I feel like at your event, that's what I really liked is you got to. A lot of the people did get to the meat and potatoes of what we're here to talk about. There's no point of you. You know, everywhere in Atlanta takes a commute. There's no point of you commuting to an event looking all cute and then coming just taking a few photo ops. If you came to actually leave with a message leave empowered you know and actually want to see positive change in your own life.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I like to say this where you come to feel whole, to leave feeling seen and whole yes, and I think that is so important because that's what's missing a lot and I think I'm heavy on the like no gatekeeping, no, I've arrived've arrived, but you haven't vibe Like we all work in that journey. We're all working Like it's always collaboration over competition. You know, and I think that that shows when every event just like planners I have planner talk all day and people don't realize that every planner's creator had a purpose for why they created it. Similar to people, god has a purpose for each of us. Planners do too. So there's a goal-focused planner. There's task-focused workout, health. They all have an intent. Mine, for Girlfriends Inc, is a goal-focused planner.

Speaker 1:

I want people to be intentional about reaching their goals and changing the trajectory of their life. That is the premise behind my brand. Got it. Similar to your event. You can tell that the premise of your event was to be purpose-driven and impactful. Right and now.

Speaker 1:

There's nothing wrong with going to an event that the purpose is fun or whatever, but people have, people have to be intentional about why they're going to these different things and showing up in those spaces, you know, in the appropriate way. Yeah, absolutely, I feel like to your point, like intentionality is so important, so important, and for me, I don't care anything about a cute picture. I don't care anything about knowing a lot of people. It's quality over quantity. Any day, I want to make sure I know the right people, the people are in it for the right reasons, the people that really care and realize that your story matters and your story can make an impact and a difference, and so I'm so heavy on the conversations that we need to have. It can't be surface level. I don't even know how to stomach surface level.

Speaker 1:

I can't do it. I always end up, no matter where I'm at. I always end up in the same type of conversations, and that's how I should know that. That's what I'm meant to do. Yeah, absolutely. I think we talked about so much, but I definitely want to make sure that you get time to tell the listeners where they can find you online so they could get more of Jessica.

Speaker 1:

Yes, you can follow us on Girlfriends Inc with a K for all things planning, strategy and workshop related. We're here to empower you and encourage you to be bold about reaching your dreams. And you can also follow us on Be Girl Powered, and that's spelled B-E-G-I-R-L, powered, p-w-r-d. It's our new nonprofit initiative where we are impacting the lives of teens and college age girls. We want to provide them the tools and resources to be strategic about their goals as well. Yeah, I love that so much. Y'all. Make sure y'all follow Jessica and Girls Inc and Girlfriends Inc.

Speaker 2:

I keep saying girls, I think it's just easier to say no, it's okay.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think that for me, even in your new venture, like that is so important. I have two girls, yes, and so my oldest, like, has always struggled with believing in herself, and I've been like girl you are the sauce. What is wrong with you? And she makes it so clear to me that people really struggle in these areas when for me, I've been heavy on.

Speaker 1:

I know who chose me. I'm God's child. I got that confidence and I'm never going to let anyone stop me from doing whatever it is that I know I'm capable of doing. And so sometimes I see her shrinking and dimming her light and I'm like, girl, put your shoulders up, what is wrong with you? And that really takes like more community and support. So I'm so thankful that you're doing that because it's needed. I'm so excited to get into. That's my, that's.

Speaker 1:

I love I have a heart for teens and young adults. I love I have a heart for teens and young adults. And that's just because I know how it feels to be a girl who I just didn't believe in myself. I just I felt lost, like I couldn't really. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm like, well, do I dress like this? Do I dress like this? Like I want to be cool, like that, but I'm not cool Like it. Just, it was a lot.

Speaker 1:

And I think that sometimes we just need that other person big sister type person or people to help love on us, because of course we know, like I knew my mom loved me. I know your daughter knows that you love her, but there's just something different relationship that can happen when you have like more mentorship from another woman or somebody who you can talk to, kind of like a therapist not a therapist, but kind of it's an unbiased person for sure that can listen and give you like hey, girl, you got this, like I went through it too, um, and so I'm very passionate about that. So I have a lot of upcoming stuff, so hopefully people can tap in on B-Girl Power for sure.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, and it sounds like it's a center of my mom's favorite saying with love is a master key. Yes, because if that intention is there and the girls are able to go in there and feel loved, feel heard, feel seen, like they're just going to be more powerful sooner, right, right, sooner, heavy on sooner.

Speaker 2:

Heavy on sooner, but still sooner.

Speaker 1:

Yes, if they didn't have that support, amen.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's dope. I love that for you Well that you had the conversation with me about coming, so shout out to you Absolutely Listen.

Speaker 1:

If you're not already following the podcast, make sure that you scroll up to the top. If you're listening from audio, If you're watching us visually, then make sure that you subscribe to the YouTube or wherever you're seeing us on, because we want to make sure that more people who are going after their goals realize that they can absolutely do it too. There is nothing different about me or Jessica as it relates to you. You can do it. Get out your way and recognize that everything that you need is already in your tool belt, is in your hand, and whatever you don't have, he is going to make sure that he brings the people, the resources and the things your way, as long as you stay out your way and bet on yourself. So keep going, keep growing, and I'll catch you on the next episode, yay.