86. The Valleys That Built Me: Finding Peace, Purpose & Growth in Life’s Hardest Seasons

Ever feel like you’re stuck in life’s potholes while everyone else seems to be speeding down smooth highways? You’re not alone. In this raw, audio-only episode, I open up about turning 40 — and the 40 hard-earned reflections that have carried me through deep valleys and unexpected victories.

These aren’t curated Instagram quotes. They’re battle-tested truths from someone still navigating her own valley season, yet standing on spiritual mountaintops at the same time. That beautiful contradiction — broken yet whole, struggling yet succeeding — is something so many of us feel but rarely say out loud.

From embracing slow seasons without shame to redefining success as peace, I share lessons that will shift how you see yourself, your relationships, your career, and your faith.

In this episode, we’ll talk about:

• Why the valley is where your roots deepen, not where your story ends
• How “slow” doesn’t mean “stuck” — and why growth speed isn’t your worth
• Why titles open doors but only character keeps you in the room
• How to set boundaries that protect your peace and energy
• The role of ownership — in your home, your ideas, and your financial stability
• How grief can both break you and grow you
• Why clarity often comes after obedience, not before
• What it means to be in the valley in the flesh but on the mountaintop in the spirit

This episode is both a mirror and a map — reflecting your own struggles while offering direction for your journey forward. Whether you’re stepping into a new chapter, pushing through a hard climb, or enjoying a season of abundance, these reflections will meet you exactly where you are.

Save this episode for when you need a reminder you’re not alone. Share it with a friend who might be ready to give up. And remember: these lessons aren’t mine alone — they belong to anyone ready to grow.

📌 Subscribe on YouTube: Redefining the Future https://youtube.com/@redefiningthefutureyou
📌 Follow & DM me on Instagram: @workplacetherapyexperience for upcoming events and resources.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to the Human Experience
• 1:13 40 Reflections and Valley Seasons
• 4:20 Ownership and Financial Stability
• 10:11 [Ad] Fit, Healthy & Happy Podcast
• 10:54 (Cont.) Ownership and Financial Stability
• 11:13 Peace, Boundaries, and Character
• 15:07 Mindset Shifts and Gratitude
• 19:58 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to. It's the Human Experience Podcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a healthcare leader, wife, mom and career coach. If you're big on authenticity, personal development, perseverance and transparency, you're in the right place. Get ready to be uplifted, inspired and empowered as you become fearless in pursuit of the life you desire and deserve. Our goal is to help you level up by creating a safe space to learn and reflect, while listening to transparent stories from our host or successful professionals and business owners who've agreed to share the parts of success that typically gets X'd out on social media, because that's the part you need to see and hear the process. Go ahead and subscribe. You don't want to miss out on these transparent stories and discussions that reveal highs, lows, aha moments and nuggets that'll help you to grow and glow.

Speaker 2: 1:13

Hey, hey, hey. You are now tuned in to the it's the Human Experience podcast. I'm your host, hazel Brown, and today yes, we're not on video because I don't need you to see my face for you to know it's real. Today, I want you to hear my voice. I turned 40 lessons into 40 reflections, from the valleys that I thought I'd never climb out of, to the moments that made me realize that this is what growth really feels like, and I just want you to be able to take these in and run with them, without really focusing on who, what, whatever the case may be. And I want you to be able to really take in everything that I'm saying, because when I look back at where I've started, the slow seasons, the misunderstood seasons, the lonely seasons, I realized that they were all shaping me for where I am now. If you don't know, my name is Hazel Brown. I'm the host of it's the Human Experience podcast and, in light of me celebrating 40 chapters in this world, right, I figured I might as well write down 40 reflections that really carried me through some of my valleys, some of my victories, just things that I can hope that you could take, just to remind you that you're not alone. You're still growing and you're right where you need to be. I don't know about you, but I'm in a space where, even when life lies, I'm so full of gratitude. I still recognize that God is still with me through it all. And so, for me, the biggest part that I want to start with right is my valley season. I really still feel like I'm in my valley season and I think it's so strange because on the outside, people tell me how they're proud of me. They send me all of this information about oh my God, like you're doing this Congratulations me, all of this information about oh my God, like you're doing this, congratulations. And you know, if you've been listening to the podcast all 80 something episodes then you know my love language is definitely affirmations. So I'm here for it. I appreciate being heard, seen, valued and being told the impact that I'm making on your life, right. That really feels good, but I also want to be mindful that life is lifing right now like truly in the pits of the valley, right? It's funny.

Speaker 2: 3:33

Recently I was reading some reviews to my husband while he is like a truck driver, and they talked about a parking lot where truck drivers have to drive in, how they have potholes a size that a Volkswagen could fit in right. I just thought about it and I'm like that's where I feel, like I am sometimes in that pothole stuck, and so I recognize that a lot of people sometimes have these same feelings and I had to really recognize. In another example of just riding somewhere with my husband, I realized that sometimes the traffic is slow but we still get to our destination. Other times this traffic is smooth sailing and we get there faster. But regardless of the speed, regardless of the roadblocks, you still get there.

Speaker 2: 4:21

I think we're so programmed to think that we're supposed to get there fast because we have these highways, all of the different methods that we can put all these passes on our car to kind of bypass all the traffic. But we don't recognize that when you're growing and you're really working on becoming the best version of you, you can't take the speedway, you can't always get the pass to bypass the bumps. You got to go through it because there's so much things that you learn through the valley season. The valley is really where your roots deepen. It's not where your story ends.

Speaker 2: 4:57

I know it always feels like that because, trust me, I sound like a cheerleader right now, but many times on the journey I am complaining. I'm like God, I am not your strong one, isn't it enough? And I have to remind myself. You don't get to determine how long is long enough, but slow doesn't mean you're stuck. God doesn't waste wilderness seasons, right, he is doing it intentionally, for a reason.

Speaker 2: 5:26

Kind of going into more reflections, if you will, I recognize that in this drought season that I've been in, I've recognized just the access that I've had to opportunities to people that can really help catch me into the next level, if you will right, they can be able to help propel me forward, if you want me to say it a little bit different. And I've recognized that, even in my season of not having a nine to five, of being fully obedient and fully surrendered and making an impact on the lives of others through the work that I do on the entrepreneurial side, I still am not homeless. I still have the same cars. My kids have not missed a meal. They might not have gone out to eat as often as they would like. They might not have been able to do everything that they wanted to do over the summer. They might not have the finest and dineness, if you will. Well, I just made up a word, right. They might not have all the things, but they are fine.

Speaker 2: 6:29

And I feel like it's so important for the seasons to happen right, because sometimes, when we have all the tools and we have all the means to be able to do things, we sometimes do too much and forget what the assignment really is. So sometimes it's necessary to really be able to remove the things that give you access to the things that you think you should have and allow you to focus on the things that you need and what's important. Through focusing on, like, what you need, what's important, what's relevant, who's there, what serves you, that silence teaches you to hear your own voice again. It teaches you to really hone in on God's voice, because speed, growth and self-worth, those are important things and the speed of your growth is not the measure of your self-worth. Let's start there, because so many times we think to the analogy I provided earlier about being in the car, kind of driving. You think that because you're going fast, you're getting somewhere, you've grown.

Speaker 2: 7:36

No, really being able to see how you understand from an emotional intelligence perspective, and the way you take in things and understand that you're going to be OK, like that is growth as well, and you can't rush a flower to bloom without breaking it. So why is it that you feel like you need to be in a pressure? Because you're always rushing to the next level and trust me, I'm talking to me too there's no such thing as behind. You're really just making sure that you're aligned to the calling over your life and you are not your productivity. Like, I repeat, you are not your productivity. True success feels like peace. It does not feel like pressure and sometimes, having all the things, you put unnecessary pressure on yourself and you fail to realize what's really important.

Speaker 2: 8:26

So in my reflections, I just started recognizing the biggest thing that I've recognized.

Speaker 2: 8:31

That is important ownership ownership of everything right, like not buying things unless you can truly see yourself owning it within a shorter period of time.

Speaker 2: 8:44

And that really became important because, through all of the layoffs and through everything that's happening in the world right now, you see people that own homes and are losing their homes 45, 60 days. They're in foreclosure. If you're renting, an eviction notice could be on your door in days. And you think to yourself people are working so hard to feel like they have gotten nowhere. And so what that makes me recognize is the importance of ownership ownership of land, ownership of your intellectual property, ownership of making sure that you are securing not just securing the bag, but investing in things that's going to allow you that, when you're in your valley season, you actually can survive. I'm so thankful that I've always been a proponent of making sure that I'm not living above my means, and so we try to live under one income, even when it seems like things are okay, and so, as a result, I think that's why I was able to survive right 10 months of no nine to five.

Speaker 2: 9:47

But the reality is is that that doesn't become enough, and it doesn't have anything to do with whether you have a business or whether you have a nine to five, because business owners are struggling right now in this economy like taking it all the way there. A lot of business owners are not making the same amount of money that they used to make, because, if the economy has people that are laid off or there's only one income in their home, people are not spending as loosely as they did, and so, as a result, business are not making that much money, not like they used to, and so I share all that. To say it then still goes back to ownership. Regardless if you're a corporate, girly entrepreneur or both, it is so important to make sure that we don't put ourselves in a space to where we cannot survive simply because we're not preparing for moments like this. And I'm not saying live in a scarcity mindset, to where you don't give yourself anything, you don't reward yourself. You don't live now because I'm heavy on living now, but make sure that when you're living now, you're truly living in the now that you could afford and you're not overspending or overdoing just for validation from others. It's truly about making sure that the person that's clapping for you is you, because you're not performing, you're enjoying your life.

Speaker 2: 11:40

When it comes to peace. And when I talk about peace, I feel like it's so important that we sit in the fact that community, your circles, your friends, your relationships, your marriage, your associates they should stretch you, they shouldn't drain you, and I think that's one of the biggest reflections that I've had when I think about just situations, people, places and all the things, because every friendship has a season and it's okay, but boundaries are like that. Love it's like a backbone for yourself, right, making sure that you don't expend energy that you don't have, and just recognize that everything is really a daily choice. Sometimes love is staying, sometimes love is letting go of what no longer serves you because you recognize that, hey, I need peace. This is not working, this is not helpful, this is not going to help me be my best self. Something else that I really want to touch on is just how important it is to recognize that titles open doors, but character keeps you in the room. Idols open doors, but character keeps you in the room. Literally, you can be let out the door because you're a part of a layoff but be brought back into a room by the person who let you out the door in the layoff because of your character. I'll elaborate another day, but I think that is rather interesting to know.

Speaker 2: 13:10

The job you pray for might be the job you outgrow. I think sometimes we're like looking for this, we're looking for that, we're trying to fill voids, but the reality is you are made for something so much more amazing than the crumbs that you're trying to pick up, and your business should not be growing at the expense of you burning out, like you don't want a nine to five to burn you out, but you're allowing your business to. Are we doing things? Yes, I'm asking a question Are we doing things that is just showing that we're busy? Are we doing things that actually makes an impact, makes a difference on ourselves and on others? I just want you to remember that your name is a brand long before you ever have a logo and you cannot scale chaos. So you got to fix the foundation first, because ownership means choosing what you won't compromise right, and you don't want to compromise your peace or none of it. You just got to know your why, because that's your insurance against quitting.

Speaker 2: 14:13

I think that was one of my biggest reflections is because of the fact that I knew my why. I wasn't going to give up. It did not matter what valley, how deep the ditch was, I'm still going to stand up and pass this test and I want you to do the same thing. I want you to really reflect on whether or not the things that you're doing is aligned with who you are, so that your insurance keeps you against quitting, it makes sure that you protect your ideas and you keep going. I'm heavy on listening to understand and not trying to respond to everything. That is a reflection, because I think sometimes during the valley and when we're at the mountaintop, sometimes you try to think you understand stuff, but it really takes pause, isolation, quietness, to recognize the why behind things, and that's really trusting your voice. That's really reflecting on your circumstances and looking at the lessons, having the hard conversations and just realizing that you know what Silence is, also communication.

Speaker 2: 15:15

Since we're talking about reflections, of course I had to reflect on grief, because it changes you, but it also grows you. I realized so much in my grief journey with my mom that I have completely changed as a person. I am not the vibrant person that is just all about pouring into everyone else and not thinking about myself. I have moments where I'm quiet and I don't want to talk to anyone. Not because I am alone or depressed or sad and sometimes I do get that way but for the most part, it is because I recognize that I don't have to be on all the time, I don't have to do all the time, I don't have to prove at all. I am enough, just being me, and that stress that comes with everything being everything to everyone. Yeah, y'all could keep that. I'm good, because your body keeps score and you got to listen to it, especially since I've been in perimenopause since 2016. So I'm not doing anything that triggers, it, causes more issues or any other things. Guys, we got to talk about menopause because I keep telling y'all about my menopausal issues or perimenopausal issues, and it is a whole thing. We need an episode on that. Right, I need to bring on a guest expert on that. Hmm, ideas, ideas.

Speaker 2: 16:43

I don't know about you, but I've really recognized that mindset shifts can sometimes be more powerful than milestones, and you know that gratitude that turns not enough into more than enough is really something else, because it just really allows you to realize that, man, I'm actually okay, I actually don't need to do the thing, I actually don't need to be the thing, because I'm already the thing right, and I feel like that Psalms 23,. It really hits different when you walk through the valley. You're like, oh, this is what he's talking about. Oh, he did warn me about this, but, my God, it is so different in theory than when you're going through it and there's different levels, right, different levels of being in the trenches, and it's just so interesting to continue to live and talk about it, to be able to show like, hey, you can get through whatever it is that you're going through.

Speaker 2: 17:42

And I think, for me, what I have to constantly remind myself when you think about mindset shifts is that my valley season. I still live in a house, I still have internet, I still have I never had cable before, but I have, like all those little subscriptions and stuff. Right, I still have a phone, I still have water, I still have food, I still have a car and I'm I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still. You're calling it the valley season because it is like, my God it is. I've not been in this season since probably about 13 years ago. It's the last time I've been in a season similar to this, but I still feel like this season was way harder than even that season, and so I share that to say, then I have to remember, like, girl, your valley is someone's high. Like are you seriously complaining right now? And then for me it's like, oh God, jesus, I wasn't built for the valley, right? Like, can we do what our ancestors did? Because their version of the valley is completely different than our version of the valley, right?

Speaker 2: 18:48

But I just think it's so important that I'm so transparent, because being understood as a gift it's really not a guarantee. And I want to make sure that I'm open about the experience, because isolation has sometimes got a way of making the conversation one-on-one. But when you feel like you're alone and you feel like no one else understands, sometimes that leaves you feeling misunderstood and that isolation makes it to where you can't have the clarity that you need. So I think sometimes a double dose of you sitting with God but also recognizing that you're not alone, provides the clarity that you need to really understand why that obedience is so important. Because you know, like they say, clarity comes after obedience, not before, and so I really want to make sure that you recognize that, like through your obedience, like you're going to see the why and every test you pass becomes a part of your testimony for someone else or someone else. It's not for you, right. It's using your gifts to serve others, because the reality is, every test you pass becomes a testimony for someone else, and that's why I'm so transparent, because I'm not going through any of the things for nothing. God's too intentional, it's all for something, and this new chapter isn't about having all the answers. It's about living out the lessons. Like I pray.

Speaker 2: 20:11

These reflections that I've shared with you just really meet you where you are, whether you're in the valley, climbing a mountain, standing at a new beginning, on the mountaintop, wherever it's a split. Let's talk about that, because many times on this journey within the last year, I felt like man in the flesh. I am in the valley, but in the spirit, I am at the mountain top, and I don't know who could relate to that, because that is a thing. I've experienced it, I've lived it, I am living it. I sound like Oprah, listen. I am living it Really. I just want you to make sure that you know that you're not alone. This is the beginning of something great Like. It's going to be bigger and better than you could ever imagine.

Speaker 2: 21:00

So save this episode for when you need to hear it again. If one reflection spoke to you, send it to a friend, share the episode. You might be the reason that they don't give up today. Because, let's be real, you've had many moments where you wanted to give up, just like I've had many moments that I've wanted to give up. But just know that these reflections are important because through the lessons, we're able to level up and get the blessings and be a blessing. And these lessons aren't mine. They belong to anyone who's ready to grow. So let's spread them, because I didn't write down all these little points right. I had little points to make sure I touched on and I wrote them because I survived them, and if you're listening, I want you to know that you can survive them too.

Speaker 2: 21:52

So subscribe on YouTube because, yes, we are in our video era. There's, I think, three episodes prior to this one already on YouTube and several others coming following this that are on video. So if you're that video girly or guy who likes to see the thing and feel the energy, check us out on YouTube at Redefining the Future. You or just search KZLack and Simran. You'll find me right. It's the Human Experience Podcast on all streaming platforms and I really want to make sure that you don't miss out on the conversation and you pick up wherever this one leaves or go back and listen to all the episodes. I invite you to DM me on Instagram at Workplace Therapy Experience, because I do host events. If you did not know, I have one in October of 2025, several in 2026. I just need you to know to start owning your magic and knowing that you're not alone and keep going, keep growing, keep betting on you and knowing that it's not all for nothing. It's all for something because God is too intentional. I'll meet you at the mountaintop.

Speaker 1: 23:00

We hope you caught all those gems. So here for all of it. Be sure to subscribe so that you don't miss a gem. Write a review so that we know to keep bringing you episodes like this. And check us out online at itsthehumanexperiencecom to keep up with us. Keep growing and glowing. Catch you on the next episode.

Speaker 2: 23:27

I hope this episode provided you so much value, gave you everything you came here to get. Please make sure you're subscribed, whether you're listening to us on Apple iHeartRadio, spotify, audible, all the things or YouTube Listen, or YouTube no-transcript.